Saturday, January 31, 2009

An Update

3 blog posts in one night! Crazy huh?

I wanted to take a minute to update you guys on my doctor's appointment. First, though, I have to tell you that I have never felt so much support and love from family, friends and complete strangers than what I have seen the last few days. THANK YOU for your comments on the blog post, for your emails, your posts through facebook, your phone calls, cards, and just showing LOVE. God's love. I have felt it and it has made me feel so much better just knowing that it's not a secret. That we all have issues and it was ok to admit it in public. To be REAL. Most importantly, thanks for not treating me all delicate and fragile when I run into you in public. That's been the most meaningful. Yes, I look exactly the same and no, I am not suicidal. Just needing a little tune up! :)

I did go to the doctor and had bloodwork done. Everything is great and he agreed that my meds obviously have stopped working. He reassured me that this happens. He has put me on a new med effective IMMEDIATELY and the transition so far has been pretty good. Today I was out more than I have been in weeks. We had three basketball games, two birthday parties, and we worked around the house. It was hard at some points, but it was good for me to stay busy and not be in bed. I actually returned a few phone calls and really thinned down my email (please don't be mad if I haven't gotten back to you yet, I didn't realize how far behind I have fallen). I would be lying if I said I wasn't still worried about coming off the Paxil. I keep waiting for the weird feeling to set in that it is coming out of my system, but I just keep praying and staying busy. I do plan to see a therapist for two reasons 1. My buddy Laura is an awesome one and recommended I do this and 2. I don't want to have to be on these silly meds the rest of my life. I need to figure out the core of these issues and get them fixed. I'm sure it will make for an interesting blog post too!

So that's an update on me. I keep telling myself to take it a day at a time. I'm spending some great time in prayer and trying not to stress about the small stuff.

One last note, if you've read this and the last blog post and are concerned about your mental health, PLEASE do something about it. Don't live trapped. Reach out. I'm so glad I did.

5 comments:

Kristi J said...

Don't worry...I know so many women and men struggling with depression, that I honestly find myself feeling "not normal" that I don't have any :) My very best friend stuggled for years..got great meds and yes, has to tweak them from time to time...it is sooo normal to need to do that. I'm praying for her right now as she is with her dying mother who isn't expected to live through the day and she just lost her father this year too....This will be hard on her...but the meds DO help!!! God made doctors and meds for a reason...I totally believe God wants us all to feel better..that is why he makes Dr's so smart :) I"m so happy you know LB's forever mom...I was wondering if you knew her...Praying for you, kristi

Oatsvall Team said...

I saw your post on Kristi's blog and had to pop over and say hello ... Please give LB a hug for me when you see her ... I adored meeting your friends and LB forever family ... They were beyond precious and I felt the biggest rush of peace ... Of course I miss her, but that is how God planned it ... We loved her w/ our whole heart so she would understand that she was loved beyond measure from the day she was born ...

Hang in there yourself ... I have several friends also who have struggled w/ depression and I have to say that sharing w/ others has to be a relief ... Blessings to you!!

Andi said...

You aren't alone, girl. I've struggled with anxiety/depression since my early 20s. Runs in my family too. You'll be a-OK soon enough! I've been on one thing or another for the better part of ten years. Finally found one that works well. I've just accepted it and take the darn medication! God wouldn't want any of us to live our lives in misery! Hang in there. =)

Sherry M. said...

I don't know if you remember it or not but several months ago I stated that I thought you and I were kindred spirits despite our age differences. I now know that to be true when I read this post. I too for about 12 years now have encountered the dark places and have had to seek help medically. This Dec. despite daily meds, I began to creep back that way and too began to sleep WAAAAAY too much. It scared me so when I finally recognized what was happening that I began to attack it from all directions and made appointments with psychiatrist, psychologist, and primary care physician. Thankfully, due to all of their help and tons of support at home, I am finding joy once more in each day. Please know that the chemical imbalances are a part of many of our lives and that all the talking in the world ( although it's a great thing to do) will not make it go away. May God place you in his lap and surround you with his love. I just know that you will rebound again. Many times you are giving so much of yourself to others that you ignore your own needs. Take care of Brea for a while too...Buy those Uggs...Drink some Dr. Pepper....etc. Love to you

Karin said...

Brea, I was visiting your sister, Josh & Maggie on Saturday. I have to tell you that Anna & Mary Elizabeth are such sweeties! Mary sat in my lap and ate a ton of animal crackers. She was too cute!! Anna is such a great helper and so polite!! It was amazing to see how great she is with Mary. If I lived close by I would have her babysit my son. He LOVED her!! Also, I have to tell you that I just recently switched dr.s and started taking an anti-depressant. I have struggled for a long time and have definitely hid it from everyone. It was nice to see a dr. that encouraged me to take care of myself. It's hard as a mother to put yourself first. Good luck & take care!