Friday, June 19, 2009

Purging: Let's Talk Toys

I am almost finished with the upstairs of the house. I am very pleased that everything is fitting perfectly (well, almost everything) even though we downsized almost 900 sq. feet.

Downstairs in the finished basement which is a whole 'nother story. In this area we have a den with a fireplace, the twins bedroom, and what will eventually be Joshua's bedroom. Right now M.E. is sleeping there because she is such a great sleeper and I don't worry with her being on another floor.

Here's my dilemma. In the old house, we not only had toys in the kids' rooms, but we were also fortunate to have a bonus room that housed the craft table and ALL the craft supplies and then a toy room that housed, well, toys. In this house, the only common area where I don't mind toys is the downstairs den and I am completely OVERWHELMED with the sheer volume of toys that are currently stuffed in that room. The bedrooms are just not large enough to house toys and there's not a toy room. My "vision" for the downstairs den is to have their craft table with their craft supplies, a bookcase that houses all their books (my kids LOVE to read and have hundreds of books), and then put a sofa and a tv with the Wii hookup down there (upstairs living room is not big enough to play Wii). The problem? Mounds and mounds of toys. Some of them they play with, some they don't.

What I have found is that my kids play with toys in cycles. Legos in the winter when they are stuck inside, Anna may play with her American Girl dolls once in a blue moon although she BEGGED me for them. Probably the most played toys in our house is the McDonald's drive thru kitchen and the Rose Petal Cottage.

So, should I just get rid of all these extra toys? Am I a bad mom if my kids literally have hardly any toys? What's a realistic amount of toys for a kid to have?

I guess I just want a space where everything has it's place and the amount of crap in that room, well, just doesn't make that a possibility. I feel like the less they have, the more they appreciate what they do have and they actually enjoy those toys. I tend to pick up most of the toys at either consignment or at yard sales, so I don't have large amounts of money into any of these toys, but I do hate to sell something that they might want me to potentially replace. Anxious for feedback and wondering if anyone else struggles with the amount of stuff our kids have?

18 comments:

Tamara said...

I have made a big decision about 2 years ago about toys. If they are not PRETEND PLAY, we don't keep them. If they are not something my children will benefit from playing, we don't keep them. We have SPECIFIC things we keep and we don't keep anything else...does that make sense? Not sure if that helps but that is where we are.

Sarah said...

oh the joys of parenthood...TOYS!! Pretty sure that toys along with car seats are from the devil!! :) Even though we have a space big enough for our toys they will still be my demise one day. Recently I finally got fed up with being the only one who cleaned them up that I really took alot out and you know what...they didn't care and it's easier for them to clean. My personal opinion is that less is more and honestly I'd rather them be playing outside than with crap (because lets face it, that's what it really is) in the house. I think if it was me I would do like you said and have the crafts, books, and McDonald thing out. Then have a place to store the cottage and leggos so that when they want them they can get them but it's not something you're constantly looking at. As for Anna's dolls I'd put those in her room. We have a strict NO toy policy in the kids rooms (because we have a toy room) except for the girls' Bitty Babies aka "special dolls". Want me to come over and help you get rid of it???!!!???

Laura Kelley www.pitterpatterart.com said...

I love this post because I am one of those parents that people probably feel bad for Harper and her lack of toys, but she totally doesnt care and will pretend play with an empty toilet paper roll all day and read books. Now she has some toys, but not a huge amount, so I say get rid of them. Also this is a great opportunity to talk with your kiddos about giving and this puts it on a much more personal level since it is their toys. By the way, I cant wait to see your house.

dgsandbjsmom said...

Okay so I am on the opposite end of the spectrum since I am poor and don't have a big house or any bonus rooms. My kids have their toys all over the place. I do try to box some up and leave some out and I get rid of some. If you have an attic you could cycle toys that way. Plus, I guess I have bigger issues to deal with like whether my kids are respectful and whether they mind their manners than where their toys are. I would find happy medium of double some kids up and create a playroom in that bedroom.

Alison said...

okay...here is my imput...

Get a bookcase or something that is narrow in size (like the one I am gonna sell bec I bought your cabinet) and purchase some of those cheap cubbies from Target. I would label and whatever doesn't fit in those comparents within a cabinet, they get rid of. I would also, again, my opinion, plead that no one purchase toys for holidays, birthdays, etc. That money is so wasted as soon as they grow out of the toy, etc. I am happy to come over and help out...I feel that Maggie will always just have what she can keep within her play area in the bonus room, because, let's face it...Laura is totally right...toilet paper rolls and cardboard boxes in the pantry are a whole lot more exciting...and free!

love you!
alie

Anonymous said...

I am right there with you!!!! I am so overwhelmed by TOYS!!!! In my opinion, that is not how I should feel!!! Since the sale is coming up, I have asked some people to come over and help me get rid of some. We have a train table and trains that have not been played with in years.

I like Ali's idea of the bins!!!

Katy Oakes

Anonymous said...

You know Allison has a ton of toys.. but what she does is... she gets her own number at your sale and then she makes money! She loves to get rid of her toys each sale.. so it doesn't bother me! They just cycle on out of here.. except her American Girl stuff which we will keep forever.. I try to only buy AG stuff.. but other stuff comes from Garage Sales and Consignment..and that is what she puts back in your sale!

Vickie

Rachel Wilson said...

having kids the same age as your older ones i know that the toys change the older they get. Ipods have replaced kate's baby dolls (sniff sniff) Like now we have under the bed bins for the girls craft items. We have a central area to use them but they are stored under beds and out of sight.Alie still has the Doll House book shelf for her barbie house but ALL Barbies are kept in a tub in the closet along with dress up box and Doll clothes box. Wes has a cool industrial metal shelf with Bins from Dollar Tree and on the front I painted penned "Comics" "Action Figures" we have 3 of those and the other various things he collects and a couple of blanks to hide junk in. Sticks and rocks and stuff. Games are kept in a cetral area in the living room (out of sight). I have never been a fan of toys that make a lot of noise or don't make you use your brain. I have NO problem chucking crap either. That is why I never have much to sell because I always donate it or throw it out. My kids really have EVERYTHING they need plus more and it really isnt much. kids dont need a lot of crap to entertain them. Thats why you have 5 kids! I also make them clean up everyday. If I go through the trouble to make it "idiot proof" (only what i call it in my head) then you should be able to put it away.

Angie V. said...

So I don't think Brea was asking what was more important than purging her kids toys. Of course, kids having good manners and being respectful IS more important, but that wasn't the topic of this post. She was mearly asking for suggestions for an issue she is dealing with right now. They have down-sized and they no longer have the room they once did to house all the kid's toys. Yes, she worries about the kids being respectful and having manners, and it shows. They are all extremely respectful and mannerly. That doesn't solve the problem of the toys. Stick to the topic.

TinyJr said...

We have found it a great joy to keep the "toys" to a minimum as much as possible. Our kids do ask sometimes when they go to another kids house "why they have so much?" but it has been some great opportunities to talk about contentment and how things pass away. We try and keep the rule, "one new toy in, one old toy out!" and we have found great joy in allowing the girls to give these outgoing toys away, teaching how to give a blessing to those les fortunate!

Good luck!

Laura Ly said...

I am there with you Brea. The girls room is too small to have toys and play in. The living room has a play kitchen, toys, and books against one wall. We do not have a bonus room. Toys are everywhere and they really do not have a home so it makes it really hard for me or the girls to clean up. Allison goes through whims of playing dress up, crafts, and play kitchen. Also I have noticed when kids come over she plays more with her toys with them. Since Madalyn is developmentally delayed I hate to get rid of toys that she may developmentally grow into. Plus you never know what Madalyn might love since she is unable to tell me. So I told you all this to tell you that my house is cluttered and overstuffed and I am embarassed to have anyone over. It is small and clean, but it doesn't look the way it did when I first moved in before kids. I don't have any answers just reassurance. I am anxiously reading to see if anyone else comes up with a solution. love ya

dgsandbjsmom said...

Why purge toys that you have spent or your friends spent good money on for your kids birthdays and Christmas? Seems like a huge waste of money that could have been spent to pay off bills or adopt a child with? I haven't bought but 2 toys at the store in 3.5 years. I take everyone's purged toys!

dgsandbjsmom said...

Okay Angie V. my comment about how the kids act is Why does she care if the kids have toys in the bedroom? Growing up My bedroom was 7 ft by 11ft and what few toys I did own were in my room. There are bigger things to worry about. With 5 kids and 2 toddlers it is a waste of money to purge toys just to rebuy in a few years. I would worry about other things and just box up the toys and put them in a corner. I don't have closets or an attic or garage. So a corner is where my stuff goes.

Brea said...

yeah, so I've been in bed with a sinus infection, thus missed the "comments" on this post the last few days. The reason I care about an overwhelming amount of toys, toys in a bedroom, etc. is because I don't want my children to take things for granted. I don't want them to expect the latest, greatest toys or identify stuff as being important. I'm admitting I lost track of just how much stuff these kids had accumulated because we did have lots of space, but now that we have downsized and I am unpacking box after box of toys, I'm realizing that we have a problem. I guess I just feel like if you don't have nothing helpful to say or if you can't be nice, maybe you shouldn't be leaving comments on people's blogs. This post was not about raising respectful children, it was about an issue that I believe many of us have. How to deal with teaching our kids about really important stuff (like a relationship with Christ) versus dealing with toys. I was wanting some good useful tips on how to sort and decide what to get rid of, not parenting advice.

Brea said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Meli (Jam Clothing) said...

Oh I'm glad you posted this!

I struggle with this too Brea. I ponder and ponder over what to get rid of because they do play with them in cycles. There is no way to hang on to all of the toys forever because we would be buried literally.
I get a lot at your sale and others also so yeah not a huge monetary investment, but I'm there with ya on not wanting to get rid of something that they will be begging for again in a month. It's HARD... the war with toys.

Also, what I struggle with terribly is how many toys family buys for my kids for gifts. I truly truly appreciate their efforts but I think they just dont understand how many toys we have and how 98% of it doesn't get touched after the day they receive it. kwim? I struggle with trying to remind everyone that they do not need toys while trying not to be the bad guy. Because 99% of the time that is what I am. Also, when I do sell or get rid of a toy that someone got I am the devil. Does anyone have an solution to that?
I don't know what the answer is because I know they just want to please the child and show their love.
Aaaahhh, one could go crazy thinking about it all.
It's definitely time for us to do a major purge with all these baby toys.

oooh, also, what do you do with all of the nick nacky things that kids get from places like VBS and other fun events? Keep them for a week and toss them? Donate them? Hide them from the kids? We have hundreds of those.

Meli (Jam Clothing) said...

Whoa, sorry for the long comment. I didn't realize it was so long. whoops! :)

Sarah said...

in response to Meli I so understand what you mean about kids getting too many toys for birthdays/chrsitmas. ALL of our family lives locally so we get tons of toys (by the end of the year we will have 4 kids) but last year I came up with something I'm hoping will work. Each year my girls were getting a new baby doll, or 4 because everyone loves to give little girls dolls!, and we were just over run with them. I decided to ask my MIL that for Christmas if she would buy them a bitty baby (from American girl-a quality doll) and then for following birthdays/Christmas just to purchase accessories. I bought a cheap $5 shoe thing that goes over the door and that is where we keep the dolls clothes. I have also found that asking for craft/coloring/art supplies is great. I mean really you can't have enough crayons/markers because they do run out and they're easy to store and bring out when you need them. And lastly, sorry for being so long, I'm thinking about this year asking for a FAMILY Wii. Yes, I know they are expensive but it's 1 thing for EVERYONE it doesn't take up much space, it can be great family time and then games/accessories can be purchased instead of toys.

Ok maybe I have 1 more thing...when we lived in a smaller house and didn't have much storage I told everyone, especially at Christmas, that the kids couldn't open all the boxes to their presents. For one it helped to get them home without missing pieces but then once home I would store them in the top of their closet and bring them out slowly. I had a few that stayed up there for awhile and eventually I donated them to the toy box the following Christmas or I've given them to other friends for their kids' present. Yes I know someone spent their hard earned money on a gift for my child and my child was blessed by it whether they played with it or not~the old saying is true "'tis better to give than receive".