Sunday, July 27, 2008

The Birds and The Bees

I was reading my friend Destry's blog tonight (see link to the right, I'm feeling lazy, but trust me, she is freakin hilarious and definitely worth checking out) and I found a post where her daughter asked her about how babies get in bellies.

It reminded me of a little story I haven't shared with the blog world that I thought you might find a tad bit funny.

I should start out by telling you that JuJu (my mom) never had THE TALK with me about sex. I was one of those girls that didn't know anything. I remember thinking in fourth grade that if you laid next to someone in bed you were having sex. Anyhoo. Back to the story.

I decided that when Anna asked me about sex, and if she was of age I would let her in on the little secret of sex. Did I want to do this? Did I look forward to it? Did I pray that she would be very ignorant? Oh yes. Have you met my daughter?

Last year, she approached me about the subject when she was starting to get testy about when Aunt Flo would start her monthly visits and when she would get the boobs. Seriously. At her 9 year check up when the doctor asked if she had any questions, she said, "When am I getting the boobs?" You can't make this stuff up.

So she asked about sex. Jonathan got out of the house as quickly as possible (I think to do some heavy drinking) and I told Anna that we would take a bath together and discuss. She LOVES taking a bath with me so this was a real treat in her eyes. I was in the linen closet doing breathing treatments, but she was excited.

We get in the tub and I start explaining about the parts and who has which parts. I then start explaining about how the parts can fit together and what happens when the parts fit together. Yes, it was graphic. I wish you could have seen her face. We talked about everything and at the end her comment was, "WELL, that is just disgusting!" followed by "so does that mean that you and daddy had sex twice when you had the boys?" (I'm telling you the kid is freaky smart)


Destry said...

That is too funny!

My mom was the opposite of yours...I think we had the talk at 8 or 9 and I was caught a little off interest in where babies came from was nil to zero.

Now, Forrest and I have had the think having it with a daughter is fun, wait until it's the boys, ha hahahahahaha...can't wait to see that blog post!

Chloe is such a talker, if I went into detail, she would be telling EVERYONE that got within 10 feet of her every detail...nope that one will have to ait until she learns another important life lesson...DISCRETION.

alison b said...

that is an awesome story. i am SO glad you shared.

Angie V. said...

Brea, you should really start a blog of just Annaisms. She is THE funniest kid I know. I know everyone would love to hear some of her other comments!

Alison said...

Too funny!

And your right, while you are telling the whole story, I can just picture it all...even Anna's faces.


Rachel Wilson said...

OH NO YOU DIDN'T! I am such a slacker. We just recently (with in the month) had the P talk. We made a day of it and ate Panera and got Pedicures. She just keeps hinting at wanting to know more and I am NOT prepared to tell her. I know that is wrong and she is going to learn the wrong thing from the Wrong people but I'm SCARED!

Anonymous said...

oh my goodness!!!!!!! I am glad I got a few years.. I am not ready for that talk... I could just see Anna's face and yours and Johnathon leaving out the door!


Beth Hockman said...

That's hilarious. The funny thing is my parents didn't do the talk and I thought the exact same thing, about sex being laying next to someone. Kudos to you about the talk, I don't think I could do it. I made my dad talk to Christopher when he was about 13. This is the first time I visited your blog, I'm sure to come back. Good luck on the encores.... I cann't wait , I'm excited.

Heather said...

Same here, no talk, except I thought you could get pregnant by kissing. Nope that's not how it happens. :)

TinyJr said...

Can't wait for Katie to have that talk! I will call Jonathan for help with the drinking! LOL

Anonymous said...

Hi! I followed your link through Bethany.
It is so funny how kids process this info. We have 10 kids and my friend, Heather just had a similar talk with her girls (8&9) , like your daughter, they started doing the math " did this 4 times?!?" They were totally grossed out. After thinking a few minutes one of them asked "so how many of the R's kids are adopted?" "One" quick mental math "So you mean they did this NINE times?!?"
LOL I wondered why her kids had been looking at me so funny.