Thursday, April 26, 2007

I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla

That is the name of the new book that came in the mail two days ago.

When Jonathan and I first met (over 10 years ago), we began discussing adoption from day one. We have always felt it was just something we were supposed to do.

Once we decided to start the process a few weeks ago, we were surprised that we were actually asked to sort of pick a kid. What I mean is that it asked what specific races we were open to, what level of handicap we would want (if any), and how old of a child we would want. I didn't know you were able to "special order" your adopted child but hey, I am learning new stuff every single day.

After talking and praying about it, we put down that we were open to any race because we are. I joined a yahoo group on transracial adoption (which has been a GODsend by the way) and started ordering books from Amazon. It is amazing to read the stories of racism and discrimination that are happening in our culture RIGHT NOW. Children who are told they are trash, that they are dirty, etc. because they are born African American....and trust me, the racism doesn't stop there. It has caused me to dig deep within myself and try to figure out at my I racist? The answer I have found is YES! because I think to some degree we all are. BUT I am not racist towards a specific color, I find that I am racist towards a specific lifestyle. It drives me nuts to see people have child after child when they are hooked on cocaine. It drives me nuts to see all the drug seekers who come in the clinic on Tenncare (which I am helping pay for by the way with our lovely tax dollars). It drives me nuts to see families that use food stamps to buy groceries and yet they have two cases of beer in the bottom of their cart and a carton of cigarettes that they are paying cash for. These are usually the same families that are shopping at Walmart at 2am with their kids who are underdressed and barefoot.

Why am I saying all this? Because I need to learn to stop having those thoughts simply because they aren't GODly. Do I need to condone their behavior? Heck no. But I also need to not judge because in God's eyes, my racism towards that person is just as bad as the racism someone may show my child one day. AND NONE OF IT IS RIGHT!

So I am putting it out there, peeps...hold me accountable. No more "white trash" comments, no more giving the evil look to the families at Walmart at 2am in the morning (yes, I do shop that late, but hey, my kids are at home in bed where they should be). If I am going to talk it, I am going to walk it and I need your accountability.

1 comment:

BlessedWithDaughters said...


THIS is the post that made me sit up and say, "I want to get to know this person!" I'm linking to your site from mine, if you're OK with that!

It makes me insane to hear people talk about others as though they were garbage...Jesus died and rose again for all of us. I love what you say about not condoning their behavior,...but we can still love them. Your honesty is a testament of God's work in your life.

Welcome to the transracial adoption community! You're gonna be an awesome Baby Mama!

I'll be praying that God sends you your gorgeous brown baby soon(I know it's not "PC" to call them brown, but their little velvet skin is so wonderful!) !!!!

(I'm sure it will be soon...from the time we called the agency to the day our BabyGirl came home, it was less than 4 months total!) It's amazing to me that more people don't want to open their hearts to children of another race...