It's been a while since I poured my heart out on this blog about our adoption process which is kind of ironic since the whole reason I started this blog was to track our journey through adoption.
Today it seems is a day of doors closing. We actually closed the first one ourselves this morning. Evidently the agency that was working with the birthmom of twins is having a difficult time getting in touch with her so we decided to stop the process there. The communication between the agency and ourselves was less than ideal (this was not through our agency) and it was really starting to stress me out that I felt like I was bugging the caseworker to get more details. Today was day 10 since they got our profile and Jonathan and I both felt like it was time to make a decision as to whether or not to keep waiting or to consider this a "no" After we talked with the caseworker one last time, even she felt like we should pursue other opportunities. We called our caseworker and told her that we were back.
Soon after that, I found out that another situation we had been told about (a baby girl) about 10 days ago has also turned into a no (even though we weren't able to pursue it b/c of the twins). Evidently the birthfather is contesting the adoption.
So how do I feel? At peace. I KNOW who is in control and I honestly just don't have it in me to question that control. I am glad I have a father who is watching out for us and understands this process because it sometimes doesn't make sense to us. I remember before the consignment sale just praying for a baby in September...I even remember saying a September baby would be nice. All I wanted was to get past the craziness of the consignment sale and then focus on the baby and now I am realizing that September is already almost gone as well. It makes me sad that time is going by so quickly and I hope that I don't easily forget this process once we are on the other side of it.
THANKS for your continued prayers for our family. We feel them...we do. At times when we are sad, we feel the love from our heavenly father and from all of you that are continuing to join us in this journey.