Friday, October 31, 2008

You Can't Fix Stupid

In the words of comedian Ron White, you can whiten yellow teeth, you suck out fat, but you just can't fix stupid.

This post kept me up half the night last night (well, that, and a migraine). You see, I feel I am pretty good at "turning the other cheek" when it comes to people being ugly to me, etc. I tend to use humor to deal with comments that really hurt my feelings. I don't anger easily and I find it pretty easy to forgive simply because I've put my own foot in my mouth a few times (to say the least). But when you say something ugly and racist about my kids, I honestly have a hard time dealing with that. You see, I want to give that over to God and forgive you, but that cuts me to a level I never realized I had before having kids. So, I find myself in a new place. Do I call this said person and let her know what an idiot she is for saying ugly things about my kids (especially to someone that KNEW ME! Ummm. hello?) or do I just turn the other cheek and just realize that you can't change stupid? And, honestly, there can be no other excuse for these comments except that you are stupid. Well, and a racist.

I am posting this for several reasons.
1. To spit it out. To get it out of me.
2. To let you know that racism is alive and well.
3. To let you know that racism SUCKS.
4. To beg you, plead with any of you that are reading this...before you let another racist comment leave your mouth, please think. It's painful. It's hurtful. It's stupid. And you can't fix stupid.

**An update on 11/3. I called her and we had a great discussion. THANKS for all your advice and I am truly sorry I sounded like such a grouch in this original post. We should ALWAYS talk things's what we are scriptually supposed to do, and besides, it just makes things easier to get it all out there in the open**


Chris said...

"You can't fix stupid," so don't try. Take the high road, delete the person from your life and move on.

Kathy Link said...
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Kathy Link said...
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Kathy Link said...

We'll try this again. My spelling was way wonky in the first post!

Unfortunately, racism is so ingrained in some people that they don't realize that it is racism. I don't know what was said, but I was always told to "consider the source". Don't lower yourself the their level. Give it over to God, remove the person from your circle and move on.
I've always admired you and your handsome hubby. You are doing great things and ALL of your children are beautiful!

kristina said...

Hugs, Brea. I'm so sorry that someone was so stupid and rude to you like that. :( I am going to pray for that person. I'm not sure what I would do. I think I would struggle with that too because I do think that sometimes no matter what you say, people will do/say/act like they want, but maybe bringing it to their attention will make them think the next time they want to say something so ugly. Then again they probably don't think it's ugly if they said it in the first place. Sigh. They defintiely need Jesus. :) Just remember that there are some folks out there that are always trying to steal our joy. Don't let them. More hugs!!!

Anonymous said...

Brea, in a way I understand. You see as I was growing up I had a lot of developmental problems with Dyslexia and ADD. The wrong test was administrated on me in grade school. The result: I was diagnosed as being borderline retarded. For years my family struggled with this because they know the test was wrong. In middle school, I had to go to a private school that retested me through Vanderbilt and the out come came out that I only had a hearing disorder, ADD and Dyslexia. These disabilities are manageable. When I went back to the public school system, I had to go back to the CDC classes because my records were "lost." For years I was tortured with cruel words, teased, pushed in the hall way, and so much more. I don't think there was ever a day that I did not cry. Words hurt, words damage, and words can never be erased from a persons mind.
I remember listening to this song in college, even though it's not a "Christian" song, but God used these words to comfort me. Tears came rolling down my face.

Don't laugh at me, don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Some day we'll all have perfect Wings
Don't laugh at me

I want you to know Brea, and Jonathan that you are the sweetest people that I know, and such amazing parents. Your love for Christ challenges me, and I'm so thankful that I know you guys. I wish every parent in the world had the strength and love that you have for you kids.
As I'm getting ready go to bed, rest in the fact that I'm pleading before God that he will give your family strength and that he will bless strong influential Christians among your path.
I love you girl!
M. Stamper

Jennifer Fleming said...

If it was me in your shoes I could not hold back and not let that person know what they did to hurt me and that you know about it. because one day they are going to offend the wrong person and who knows what could happen.

Destry said...

Brea, this is just my two cents...advice that I wish that I would have taken for myself when someone did something stupid...and you have an idea of what that situation was.

I think that you should address it head on. Pray before hand...ask for wisdom and that the Lord would temper your words...and then tell this person that their words hurt and offended you.

If they receive you and ask for forgiveness and learn their lesson...extend them mercy and grace. (Not to say that you need to be best-buds there after...but attempt to clear the animosity).

If they don't receive you well, walk away and know that you haven't allowed a seed of resentment, anger or bitterness to be planted in you because of their wrong doing.

People get away with entirely too much. If they were called out (in the right spirit) for their words and actions more often, perhaps they would think twice before opening their mouths.

Whatever you choose to do...I am so sorry that someones ignorance had to invade your day. You deserve better than that. ME is a gorgeous baby and she is blessed to have you for parents...and you are blessed with the privilage of raising her.

jeanine said...

Don't know what's going on, but ditto Destry.

Rachel Wilson said...

I can't post what I want to say. I will just second Destry motion!