School Days

I've recently been thinking about going back to college to complete my degree. The thought of being the adult in the classroom actually makes me a little sick, simply because I remember how mean the "young adults" were to them.

When I graduated from high school, I had one thing on my mind: volleyball. I played in high school and LOVED it. When I got offered scholarships for academics AND volleyball, it was a no brainer. I was going 2 1/2 hours away from home to continue playing the sport I loved.

I was a little, shall we say, sheltered growing up. Being away from home offered me all the freedom I thought I wanted, but it also offered all the opportunities to try all the things I had never really done: drinking, going out, etc. I played my heart out when it came to volleyball, but I also drank myself to death and got involved in a relationship that was not the smartest decision. By the end of freshman year, I had lost my academic scholarship, was heartbroken, and felt like I didn't know who I was.

I spent the next two years college hopping. I went to Western KY and then came back home after I got married to J and went to Vol State. My grades drastically improved, but when I found out I was pregnant with Anna, school became the last thing I was worried about and I quit after my junior year.

Now, knowing that in 5 short years, Anna will be heading off to college, I worry that she might try to use me as an excuse to not go. I can literally hear her now saying, "that's so not far, mom didn't finish college and she turned out fine." I also worry that it could end up costing us a small fortune for me to finish and ultimately, I'm not even sure what I'll do with a degree. Secretly, I've been thinking for years about going back to school to become a nurse, but I know that's a HUGE undertaking and with having small kids at home, I'm not sure our family is ready for that.

So, that's where I am right now in regards to school. I'm just going to continue praying about where God wants me and hope that some doors or answers reveal themselves pretty soon.

Tomorrow's Another Day

I could start off by telling you all the reasons I haven't blogged in a while, but I figure rather than boring you with all that stuff, I'm just going to start fresh.

Today, I woke up and felt refreshed. renewed. energized. excited. You see, there are big changes coming for our family in my area of work and although some aspects of it do make me sad, this is definitely a positive change for our family. It's a decision we've been praying over for years and finally felt the time was right about 6 months ago to make a change. We took a leap of faith knowing that many wouldn't understand and the big news will be revealed by the end of next week.

I'm a little nervous about everyone's response and I'm praying that rather to jumping to conclusions, people will feel comfortable enough to come to me and talk about the changes versus starting rumors and stirring the pot. I'm praying that others will be able to see what a positive thing this is for our family. I'm praying that people will see that it was time to focus on our family more so than everyone else.

That's really a tough one for me, as I typically put myself dead last. I'm definitely a giver and would prefer someone else's happiness over my own. That's what I struggle with the most...that this decision will seem selfish and yet I realize that it was time to put myself and our family first.

All that to say, I'm not sure what tomorrow is going to bring career wise. I know that today I enjoyed just hanging with my kiddos. We went to lunch with daddy and went to Best Buy to buy a new vacuum. We played with sticks in the front yard and ate messy snacks. I didn't answer the phone one time today if it had anything to do with business. And it was good.

Tomorrow's another day, and I'm thirty anyway, so bring on the rain. Trust me, I'm ready.