Monday, April 30, 2007

Migraine Headaches

Sometimes it is hard to ask for prayers or help, but I am asking for them now. As many of you know, I struggle with migraine headaches and we think we have narrowed it down to them being caused by hormonal changes during "that" time of the month. I had a HORRIBLE one Friday, good day Saturday, so so Sunday, but today as the day progresses my head is getting worse. So bad that I am getting ready to cancel accountability which I hate to do, lock myself in a dark room and go to bed. I begin a preventative tomorrow morning and they are trying to get my appointment with the neurologist as quickly as possible so please say a prayer. It sucks always having a headache, esp. when they make you want to loose your lunch. My hubby and kids miss me, heck, I miss me.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

How cute is this???

I don't which was sweeter....this sweet baby laughing or my three kiddos all around me laughing at the baby laughing. TOO SWEET!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla

That is the name of the new book that came in the mail two days ago.

When Jonathan and I first met (over 10 years ago), we began discussing adoption from day one. We have always felt it was just something we were supposed to do.

Once we decided to start the process a few weeks ago, we were surprised that we were actually asked to sort of pick a kid. What I mean is that it asked what specific races we were open to, what level of handicap we would want (if any), and how old of a child we would want. I didn't know you were able to "special order" your adopted child but hey, I am learning new stuff every single day.

After talking and praying about it, we put down that we were open to any race because we are. I joined a yahoo group on transracial adoption (which has been a GODsend by the way) and started ordering books from Amazon. It is amazing to read the stories of racism and discrimination that are happening in our culture RIGHT NOW. Children who are told they are trash, that they are dirty, etc. because they are born African American....and trust me, the racism doesn't stop there. It has caused me to dig deep within myself and try to figure out at my I racist? The answer I have found is YES! because I think to some degree we all are. BUT I am not racist towards a specific color, I find that I am racist towards a specific lifestyle. It drives me nuts to see people have child after child when they are hooked on cocaine. It drives me nuts to see all the drug seekers who come in the clinic on Tenncare (which I am helping pay for by the way with our lovely tax dollars). It drives me nuts to see families that use food stamps to buy groceries and yet they have two cases of beer in the bottom of their cart and a carton of cigarettes that they are paying cash for. These are usually the same families that are shopping at Walmart at 2am with their kids who are underdressed and barefoot.

Why am I saying all this? Because I need to learn to stop having those thoughts simply because they aren't GODly. Do I need to condone their behavior? Heck no. But I also need to not judge because in God's eyes, my racism towards that person is just as bad as the racism someone may show my child one day. AND NONE OF IT IS RIGHT!

So I am putting it out there, peeps...hold me accountable. No more "white trash" comments, no more giving the evil look to the families at Walmart at 2am in the morning (yes, I do shop that late, but hey, my kids are at home in bed where they should be). If I am going to talk it, I am going to walk it and I need your accountability.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Sick Eyes

I love Anna's sick eyes....I hate to see them because I know she is sick, but they are so precious when she isn't feeling good. The get REALLY blue and she always looks a little sleepy. We woke up this morning to see those sick we got ready and she came to the clinic with me. Sure enough, strep throat. She opted not to get the shot and just take the medicine so she will have to miss a few days of school.

Grandmother Freeman came and got her and she is spending the day hanging out there. She called me at the clinic and left me a voicemail when I didn't answer right away. It was in that moment of listening to the voicemail that I truly realized how much she has grown up. Her message was something like, "Hi mom, I know you are probably busy but when you get a sec, give me a buzz at Grandmothers. I had a question for you." I just stared at the phone for a grown up is that!!!

In a few days she will be 100% again and I'll miss those sick eyes once again!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Baby Jack....or is it Tanith???

You think I am already picking out baby names don't you?!?!?

Well, I'm not....I am just wondering what is in my best friend Kim's belly....a Jack or a Tanith? Where did these names come from you ask??? Well, let me tell you.

Chris (her hubby) and Kim took us on a WONDERFUL trip to Disney the week after consignment mania for her 30th birthday. She told me they had "pulled the goalie" (if you know what I mean) and were going for #2. We were thrilled to hear that Chris is a good soccer player and scored the winning goal while in Disney. GO CHRIS!

Now, while in Disney...we had lunch at a yummy spot in Epcot and our adorable waitress' name was Tanith and yes, she was VERY British with an ad0rable accent which I tried to mock with not much luck. I told Kimberly she ought to name her next one sounded cute for about 52 minutes.

Although I am really good at telling people when they are pregnant (at not the most appropriate times I might add), I really suck at telling people the sex of their babies so I am dying to know what this one will be. Chris is convinced it is a Baby Jack but I am still pulling for Tanith, which is ridiculous b/c she won't name her Tanith anyway.

Anyway, really thrilled for you guys...I can't wait to meet the new little one and watch McKinley be the BIG SISTER! Oh and by the way, Chris, I think you are dead on...I think it's a Jack too!

The BIG 35

Happy Birthday sweetie.....

35 years ago today your mom gave me the best gift ever....a great husband!

I love you today more than ever!

Frugal Shopper and THE CRIB

Well, I bought a crib...yep, a crib. How strange to have a crib coming to STAY in my house.

I was just "searching" around on ebay and found this eBay: Morigeau-Lepine Crib & Dresser/Changing Table Set - EUC (item 1101130385 and realized it hadn't sold and that the owner lived in Franklin, TN. I emailed her, offered a lot less and what do you is ours! We go to pick it up sometime this week and then I am going to have our faithful furniture maker (Barry Faith) paint it black. It will go perfectly in Anna's room (it would also go perfectly in a 4th bedroom...hint...hint)

I also bought an amazing entertainment center off Craigslist. Have I mentioned I am a craigslist junkie? They should form a support group for us. I have bought and sold half the crap in my house on craigslist. I find yard sales on craigslist, I find American Girl stuff for Anna on craigslist, our sectional in our bonus get the point. I just hope they don't figure out that they aren't making enough money and start charging us to use craigslist.

Now if I could just find a kid on craigslist...

Monday, April 23, 2007

The Waiting Game

Sorry it has been a few days since I last put anything on here....we had a very busy weekend!

I thought I would share with you guys my inner feelings about the adoption process and how I am feeling so far.

We were told last week that we would have to have a 4th bedroom (which was wrong) but it caused us to have a freak-out moment. We spent Saturday morning touring houses in a nearby subdivision. I, of course, fell in love with the first one we went in and I am still trying to figure out what I can do to get Jonathan to move. He, on the other hand, can list every reason why our house is perfect where we are now...and he is probably right. You know, it is amazing how selfish I can be...but a fourth bedroom would be REALLY nice.

On to the "INNER FEELINGS," to be honest I have this pit of nervousness, excitement, fear and hope balled up on the inside of my stomach and sometimes I find it hard to concentrate on the task at hand. I think about what it will be like with four kids (yes, we have lost our minds!) and more importantly, the possibility of having a BABY again. Our house is not the least bit baby-proofed. We're talking....come on in, grab scissors out of a drawer, climb up the stairs (with no gate) and throw yourself over the catwalk.....NOT baby-proofed.

I think about my kids and will they grow up thinking that they weren't good enough for us, that we had to go adopt another child. I wonder about the adopted child and if they'll wonder if I love him/her as much as my other three. I think about the birthmother who is walking around pregnant as I type this, probably miserably pregnant with no happy ending to look forward to once she delivers. I think about the pain of her letting her child brave she is. I think about the people around her who might criticize her decision or look down on her b/c she chooses a better life for her child. I think about a new baby in my arms.....seeing my four children sit together on the couch with the three oldest fighting over who gets to hold the baby. I think about what if that birthmother decides to parent after us having a newborn here for 8 days. I think about the possibility that we could potentially be taking a baby away from a couple that can't have children of their own. What if we don't get picked?

I am so invested in this already....everywhere I go something makes me think about this journey ahead...and yet I have peace.

Luke 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Ok, so I guess I was really hoping for a comment but I guess it is hard to get a comment when hardly anyone knows you started a blog. So my task for today is to let everyone know it is here and then hound all those said people until they leave me some cutesy comment.

I told you in my first post that I work at a "clinic". It is actually an urgent care facility in Goodlettsville, TN. I just LOVE it (which everyone else that works here thinks is hilarious!). I usually work on Tuesday afternoon, all day Wednesday and all day Friday. I basically answer the phones, enter charts and soak in all the experiences. Never a dull day at Urgent Care!

My best friend, Angie, and I basically do a "job share" for the position. Her dad is one of the doctor's at the clinic so when the opportunity arose to get a new part time gig, I jumped at the chance. The only bad thing is that Angie and I don't get to have our girl's day anymore b/c one of us is always for us, great for the budget. My hubby loves it...not only am I making money, but I am spending less!!

Monday, April 16, 2007

Crack me up...

Ok, so I know that I have "talked" about doing this for A know I have a lot of things to ponder with you guys on and it's about time I got off my rump and started blogging.


Wow, there is a lot going on at my house right now. Anna has TCAP testing this week so she is all stressed out about going to bed on time which is an absolute joke b/c we have to basically strap her into bed to get her to go to bed on time the other 360 days of the year. Isaac and Luke had their last official "shower" in the upstairs tub tonight b/c we are convinced they are going to flood the second floor if they keep it up. On top of that, I got hardly any sleep last night b/c I was up to the wee hours in the morning reading sites on adoption.

Wait, did I just say that OUT LOUD!! Why yes, I did my friends. The Freeman family is planning an expansion....not sure when, not sure how....but we are. We sent our first application to Bethany Christian Services here in Nashville last week and go to our first official meeting on May 4th so start praying for us! I am so excited that sometimes I just can't contain myself but I am trying to remain calm and rational.

It's funny the reactions we are already getting. My favorite so far has been Pam (and I'll explain who she is in a later entry). I was at the clinic (more on that later too!) and Pam walks in and I am getting ready to mail in our application. She had never seen a pic of my kids before so of course, I whip out the pic of my precious children and she ooohs and aaaahs like she is supposed to and then I tell her, "yes, we are sending in our application for adoption." She looks at me with that sweet smile that she has and I go on to say, "yes, I could only have my three kiddos" to which she says "AND!" I guess three was enough for her....and three may be enough for me if that is what God has in store for us. We are just walking in his will and we will see what happens. Hang in there folks, it might be a bumpy ride!