One of the things I have learned in our adoption process so far is how to use the correct terms for adoption. I was used to saying "she gave her baby up for adoption" when I should be saying "she formed an adoption plan for her child." Sounds silly, but it really is important that adoption be viewed in a positive light because it is. What do you think of when you think of a birthmom? I was guilty of thinking that most birthmoms were 13 year olds that got knocked up. The reality is that the average birthmom that chose an adoption plan for her child last year at Bethany Christian Services was 24! If you think about our culture today and how easy it is to just take the morning after pill (trust me, it is easy to do and most health departments don't think much about it anymore b/c it is so common) or go have an abortion, we should truly be putting these women in the spotlight. Yes, they have had pre-marital sex....but they are choosing LIFE for their child. How many people do you know that have had an abortion because they didn't want the baby, didn't want their family to know they were pregnant, etc? I personally know three people and although the decision they made was years ago, it greatly affects them just as much today. Birthmothers are just that...they are no less of a mother because they were selfless enough to give their child a better life. They still get swollen ankles, back pain, indigestion, crave weird foods, wear maternity clothes....the only difference is that they don't go home with a baby. They go home with swollen boobs, post-delivery belly, daily reminders of the fact that they don't have a baby at home with them. Think of how many times you see a pregnant woman and ask them when they are due? what they are having? picked out names yet? Birthmothers deal with the same questions and trying to decide how much info to share. They deal with questions from ignorant, nosy people like "why would you just give your baby up?" or "why didn't you just have an abortion?" Think of what they deal with day in and day out.
I guess I just feel that whether or not God gives us another child, we have already learned so much. My eyes have been opened to another world that many of us don't think about b/c we aren't faced with it. I hope that I have helped open your eyes too....our adoption experience is not just ours, it is yours as well....it will affect everyone we know. My prayer today is to try not to judge...it is still very difficult for me especially in my work environment, but I try to remind myself that it is not our place to judge and that helps.