Reality Check

Today was an interesting day and I found that I couldn't wait to blog about it and yet, I almost didn't want to blog about it because I didn't want it to come across the wrong way. I had Mags and Mary Elizabeth today and I went to meet a friend at Sears to pick up some stuff. As I was coming back home, I was hungry and realizing that would be the one time I would get a few minutes to eat in peace, I decided it was time for some Taco Bell. As I turned out of the mall, I noticed a homeless man sitting on the side of the road. He was holding a sign that said something like "Anything you can give will help, even prayers." It hit me. REALLY hit me and I knew immediately what I had to do. HAD TO DO IT. I went to the Bell and got my lunch and I also ordered lunch for this man. I was scared to death as I pulled back into the mall entrance and pulled in and parked behind him. As I did, he got up and started to walk away like he was afraid I was a cop or something. I got out and said "SIR!" He looked back at me as he was quickly walking away and I said, "but I got you lunch!" He walked over to me and all I could think to say was "I hope you like Tacos." He said, "oh yes, I do." I told him that I got him mild and hot sauce, handed him his drink and told him to stay warm. As I handed him the drink, I realized he only had one arm. He just stood there and stared at me like he couldn't believe I had just done that. Trust me buddy, I couldn't believe I had done it either. BUT I HAD TO. I got in the car and lost it...cried the whole way home. Why? I'm not really sure. Not really sure why I am crying as I type this. I didn't do it because I wanted a feel good moment. I didn't post this because I wanted you to think I am a good person. I did it because we are supposed to, because it literally took nothing to do it, and I got way more out of it than what he got from me. He got some warm lunch....I got humbled. I got Jesus in a real way today. Next time you get the feeling that you just HAVE TO DO SOMETHING (even if it's uncomfortable) DO IT!!!

I "officially" felt old today

Yes, it was one of "those" days.

A few weeks ago, J and I decided it was time to up our life insurance. On 11/16, a nurse came to the house to draw blood and get a urine sample for my life insurance screening. Side note: I find it hilarious that the nurse smelled like a 6 pack of beer and Camel lights and she was here to check to make sure I was healthy. Anyway, in the mail today was my lab results. Oh joy!

As I was looking through everything, I was silently doing the "good job Brea" and "yeah, you still got it" b/c all my numbers were great. Then, I got to Cholesterol. Normal is 140-199. Mine was 209 and this was after fasting for 13 hours!!! Not only that, but my LDL (THE BAD CHOLESTEROL) was 129 and normal is 0-129. Yes, I am getting old. My cholesterol is high. What the crap!?!?! Not only that, but my cover letter tells me that because of my high cholesterol, I am putting myself at an increased risk of heart disease. Gee, thanks.

Mags

This is my niece Maggie Holland Harris. I call her Mags. Mags, Mary Elizabeth and I hang out every Tuesday. I love this little girl more than she will ever know. I love that her mommy and daddy created such a precious little gift that I get to love on. Isn't she adorable?

It's 3:46am on Black Friday....

Mama's going shopping, and Daddy...well....

Happy Thanksgiving

This is what I am thankful for....notice how Mary Elizabeth looks like she is dancing!

On a lighter note...

Thanks to Jenn C. for sending this to me...keep watching, this one is great. Hey, Ali B...ever seen this before at a wedding?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=aeoi16lScf4

The Power Of A Blog

5 years ago no one had ever heard of the word "blog" (or at least I hadn't)

Now, you are essentially an oddball if you don't have one (even if you hardly ever post to it) Yes, it is a great place to share family news, pics from a recent vacation, or a new pet...but, it can be so much more than that. It can be a place where people see Jesus in you through your writing.

I found yet another example of that today. Patti Keitzman is a consignor at my consignment sale. She actually was at the first one I did 3 years ago where I was practically begging people to bring their stuff (my how times have changed!). Her husband, Brad, taught with my sister Alison so she found out about the sale through her. My sister has said multiple times through through the years how much she admired Brad Keitzman as a teacher. On October 31, he was officially diagnosed with cancer and he died today. You know, I won't pretend that they were dear, close friends or that I even knew them that well. I also won't pretend to know how they feel. What I do know is that this family needs us to pray for them....they have two young daughters. Although their blog doesn't have too much detail, I just felt Jesus while reading it. Check it out if you get a chance...www.keitzman.blogspot.com

Mary Elizabeth's Due Date

Yesterday (11/13) was Mary Elizabeth's due date (at best we can tell) She is now 6 lbs exactly and 18 3/4" long. Yesterday had also been one month since we brought her home. I love her so much. SO MUCH. I love the way she gets big eyes when the room is dark, the way she smells, the way her hair curls up like she has a new perm after a bath, the way she "roots" around on my chest when she is hungry and ends up leaving wet marks all over my shirt, the way she opens her eyes in little slits to see who is there before she actually opens them all the way up, the way she screams bloody murder when she is getting a bath but can turn off the waterworks immediately when she hits the warm, fuzzy towel. I love to see my husband holding her. I love seeing my other daughter holding her. I love to see Isaac and Luke kiss the top of her head. I love to see her sucking her thumb (which is quite hysterical), how she has just noticed that she has fingers on her hands and she keeps smacking herself in the face as she tries to bring them towards her, how she loves to snuggle on my chest. I am a blessed woman indeed.

People DO read my blog

You know, sometimes I get on here and type my heart out and I trick myself into thinking that no one actually "really" reads these posts. Boy was I wrong!

THANKS so much for the sweet emails I have gotten since my blog post on Sunday. I promise I'm not depressed and mom, I promise I will ask you for money if we really need it. I'm being silly, but seriously, I put that out there so that people would see that there are many different facets to the adoption process. It's hard when your heart tells you to do one thing but sometimes your checkbook holds you back.

I do FEEL better...sometimes just putting your feelings out there is enough and for me, that was certainly true. Just venting on the blog made me feel so much better and after spending some time in prayer, I realized that this is yet another way that the process of adopting our daughter has truly changed me (and in a good way). So what if I don't have a new pair of jeans in the next few months or if I don't eat out as much, I have a wonderful new daughter that the Lord has blessed us with and for that, I will always be greatful!

A Yucky Post

I am in a yucky mood. I can admit it. I probably should have never walked to the computer to type this, but you know what...it's my blog and I'll blog if I want to.

Everyone keeps asking how are we doing? We are really doing great. Mary Elizabeth is such a blessing to us and if I didn't know it, I love her like I birthed her myself. I find myself thinking about her birthmother. How she is doing. What it feels like for her as she looks at her other three girls and realizes that one more is missing. If she feels guilty. If she's a monster. If she's a lot like me.

The kids are doing great with her. Anna loves her so much and seeing her with Mary Elizabeth is yet another example that we were totally following in God's will.

Sometimes I find that I want to pinch myself because it seems like yesterday we started this process and we already have our daughter home with us. It makes me sad for all the people who wish to adopt that have waited for years. Other times it feels like the journey to M.E. was the longest road I've ever walked. It changed me. It made me see the world in a whole new light. It made me want to be different and by my being different, to help change the world.

The hardest part of the journey beside the wait? The finances. I haven't talked about that much in this journey but it is a fact of the process. And it sucks. I hate feeling like we are broke. I knew that it would take a lot of money, but it makes me mad that we don't qualify for grants simply because we make too much money. They don't look at the years it took us to pay crap off (granted, that was our own mistakes, but hey...it's my blog...) and the fact that we aren't rolling in it even though we may have a decent income. They don't look at the fact that we were currently supporting 3 children and funding college funds and paying health insurance. I never felt comfortable asking for money to help fund this journey simply because I knew there were others who needed it worse than us, but I can't lie and say that it doesn't hurt to know that we probably won't be able to open our home more in the future simply because it costs so freaking much to do this. That makes me sad.

SO that's the mood I'm in today....I need to give it to God and move on.

If I Only Had A Brain...

Yes, my gang was all decked out as the Wizard of Oz last night. The only one missing: the scarecrow! I told the kids I could stand in for him since I really seem to have no brain these days. Between the migraine I've been struggling to kick the last few days to the lack of sleep, I seem to be doing the craziest things (like putting the apple juice in the cabinet beside the glasses)

This scarecrow thinks her children were adorable. More updates once I kick the migraine: