I remember when I was pregnant with Anna 11 years ago. It was my first pregnancy and I took so much for granted. I was so sick during that pregnancy. I got so used to being sick that I would eat, vomit and then go eat again cause dangit, I was hungry.
I remember that her due date was September 27. My wonderful OB, Dr. Hosier, told me early on that if I didn't deliver on my due date, he would induce me the next day. I think I spent those last few weeks more worried about my water breaking in public (oh, the horror that would be!) than actually having the baby. My due date came and went and sure enough, I was at the hospital at 7am on September 28 to be induced. 5 1/2 hours later, my world was forever changed when I laid eyes on my beautiful Anna Banana.
Now, 10.5 years later, I sit here typing knowing that TODAY is the birthmother in Georgia's due date. Wondering what she is doing as I am sitting here typing this. Wondering if she feels my thoughts and prayers. Wondering if she is miserable and just ready for this to be over or if she is praying that the baby will stay in as long as possible so she doesn't have to face reality when she does get here.
Part of me wishes I could sit down with her and let her know that there is support for her if she wants to parent. She CAN find a way to make that happen if that is what she wants. Wanting her to know we support her no matter what decision she makes.
I am praying for you tonight, L. I have been praying for you since the minute I heard about you last Thursday night. I pray that you have peace in your heart and mind and that you feel confident in your decision, whatever that may be. May you rest easy tonight in HIS arms!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Weekend/Adoption Update - Sunday
First, I will start with the first adoption update. We found out Friday morning that the birthmom in Florida was probably going to parent. Thursday night, I honestly just KNEW that was going to happen. I was completely at peace and honestly, I was JOYFUL for this birthmom. How awesome to have your family come forward and offer to help and support you! PRAISE GOD!
Thursday night we also received 3 SEPERATE phone calls/emails about wanting to show our profile.
Friday morning I headed out to my scrapbook retreat with a heavy heart. Would we find out what was going on in FL? Then what should we do? I called my Kim and told her what was on my heart. I had to let her go because I had gotten to my mother-in-laws to drop off M.E. for the day. Seriously, by the time I was able to call her back, God had taken care of it for me. Isn't he just the coolest? Jonathan had talked to the case worker about the baby in FL so we knew the answer there and BOTH he and my mother in law had been having a serious heart to heart with God about what we were supposed to do next and BOTH had come to the same answer (and what my gut was telling me) So we decided to send our profile to a birthmom in GA.
I went ahead to my scrapbook retreat where I got 40 pages done over 2 days and came down with some sort of stomach virus last night around midnight. I have decided that there is nothing worse than getting sick and being away from home. I am feeling a bit better as I type this and I knew based on the number of emails/facebook messages, you were all dying to know what was going on. I'm sorry that I haven't called some of you specifically, I was just trying to escape adoption for the weekend :)
Will you pray for this birthmom in GA? She is due any day and is trying to decide if she will parent or place. Our prayer is that if she has the desire to parent, that doors will open and help will present itself so that this can happen. I know that sounds crazy to some of you, but we have always believed it is best for the child to be raised by the biological family if that family desires to do that and the environment for the child is healthy.
I will keep you posted....we FEEL your prayers. We NEED your prayers. We are anxiously awaiting updates but feel completely at peace that whatever is supposed to happen will happen according to his will.
Thursday night we also received 3 SEPERATE phone calls/emails about wanting to show our profile.
Friday morning I headed out to my scrapbook retreat with a heavy heart. Would we find out what was going on in FL? Then what should we do? I called my Kim and told her what was on my heart. I had to let her go because I had gotten to my mother-in-laws to drop off M.E. for the day. Seriously, by the time I was able to call her back, God had taken care of it for me. Isn't he just the coolest? Jonathan had talked to the case worker about the baby in FL so we knew the answer there and BOTH he and my mother in law had been having a serious heart to heart with God about what we were supposed to do next and BOTH had come to the same answer (and what my gut was telling me) So we decided to send our profile to a birthmom in GA.
I went ahead to my scrapbook retreat where I got 40 pages done over 2 days and came down with some sort of stomach virus last night around midnight. I have decided that there is nothing worse than getting sick and being away from home. I am feeling a bit better as I type this and I knew based on the number of emails/facebook messages, you were all dying to know what was going on. I'm sorry that I haven't called some of you specifically, I was just trying to escape adoption for the weekend :)
Will you pray for this birthmom in GA? She is due any day and is trying to decide if she will parent or place. Our prayer is that if she has the desire to parent, that doors will open and help will present itself so that this can happen. I know that sounds crazy to some of you, but we have always believed it is best for the child to be raised by the biological family if that family desires to do that and the environment for the child is healthy.
I will keep you posted....we FEEL your prayers. We NEED your prayers. We are anxiously awaiting updates but feel completely at peace that whatever is supposed to happen will happen according to his will.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Town Hall For Hope - Dave Ramsey
Can I just say I am pretty darn PUMPED about this. Check out all the scoop HERE. Tell your friends and let's spread some hope!!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Transracial Playgroup
I got some friends together today so all of our kiddos could play. We finally drug out the camera to capture all of us (except me-the picture taker) I figured you guys might want a face to go with names.
I had someone leave a comment wanting to know how to start a playgroup. Here's what we did...
I found people in our agency that had also adopted transracially. It just so happened they were also on Bethany's online forums so it made it easy to say "hey, let's get together!" Alison B. actually sent out the initial message on the Bethany boards and the first time we met with anyone new was at a mall play area. From there, we just started emailing at random and trying to get different people together.
Right now our playgroup consists of the following people:
Melissa, who has two girls (both Bethany babies)-wasn't able to come today
Alison B., who has two girls (both Bethany babies)
Amber, has a 5 year old bio daughter and boy/girl twins (Bethany babies)
Kelly, has one boy (Bethany baby)
Amanda, has one boy (Bethany baby)-I haven't gotten to meet her yet, I forgot to invite her today (yes, I suck)
Leslie, has one boy (Bethany baby)-she couldn't come today either
Linda, has one girl (Bethany baby)-she couldn't come today either
and me...
I think that got everybody (someone tell me quick if I forgot someone)
So, today we decided to get together at my house since the weather was CRAPPY here in Nashville. I was really hoping to go to Dragon Park in Nashville, but again, weather was not so hot for an outside playdate. Maybe next time.
When we get together, we honestly just let the kids run wild. All of our kids are 2 and under so if you try to occupy them, you just end up getting frustrated. The kids had a great time today (we had 7 kids here 3 and under-Alison brought a friend's little girl). The kids loved playing with each other and exploring all of M.E. and the boys' toys. We just sit around and talk about life experiences being a mom of a black and/or bi-racial child, the events on the Bethany boards, life happenings and just stuff. There is no agenda and nothing formal...just some tired mommas getting together and knowing their kids are going to sleep GREAT on the way home.
All of us pretty much live all over Nashville, so we usually just try to rotate houses or locations that are pretty neutral for everyone.
About 10 minutes before Alison arrived, I noticed M.E. was more clingy that usual. Sure enough she had a temp. GREAT. She did great though considering we could all tell she didn't feel well. Matter of fact, she is snoozing at 4:40pm as I type this which is totally not like her.
In the above pic, on the left we have Kelly, momma to Nathan. She is also holding a sick M.E. Next to her is Amber holding Charlotte and her son, Cale, is in front of her. Next to her is Cale's twin sis, Brynn. Alison is on the right holding Norah (who did NOT want her picture made) and Norah's friend Jayden.
We had a great time today. Ladies, THANK YOU for coming and keeping my mind off the phone ringing. Speaking of, we have still heard nothing and feel like it will probably be tomorrow before we know something.
I had someone leave a comment wanting to know how to start a playgroup. Here's what we did...
I found people in our agency that had also adopted transracially. It just so happened they were also on Bethany's online forums so it made it easy to say "hey, let's get together!" Alison B. actually sent out the initial message on the Bethany boards and the first time we met with anyone new was at a mall play area. From there, we just started emailing at random and trying to get different people together.
Right now our playgroup consists of the following people:
Melissa, who has two girls (both Bethany babies)-wasn't able to come today
Alison B., who has two girls (both Bethany babies)
Amber, has a 5 year old bio daughter and boy/girl twins (Bethany babies)
Kelly, has one boy (Bethany baby)
Amanda, has one boy (Bethany baby)-I haven't gotten to meet her yet, I forgot to invite her today (yes, I suck)
Leslie, has one boy (Bethany baby)-she couldn't come today either
Linda, has one girl (Bethany baby)-she couldn't come today either
and me...
I think that got everybody (someone tell me quick if I forgot someone)
So, today we decided to get together at my house since the weather was CRAPPY here in Nashville. I was really hoping to go to Dragon Park in Nashville, but again, weather was not so hot for an outside playdate. Maybe next time.
When we get together, we honestly just let the kids run wild. All of our kids are 2 and under so if you try to occupy them, you just end up getting frustrated. The kids had a great time today (we had 7 kids here 3 and under-Alison brought a friend's little girl). The kids loved playing with each other and exploring all of M.E. and the boys' toys. We just sit around and talk about life experiences being a mom of a black and/or bi-racial child, the events on the Bethany boards, life happenings and just stuff. There is no agenda and nothing formal...just some tired mommas getting together and knowing their kids are going to sleep GREAT on the way home.
All of us pretty much live all over Nashville, so we usually just try to rotate houses or locations that are pretty neutral for everyone.
About 10 minutes before Alison arrived, I noticed M.E. was more clingy that usual. Sure enough she had a temp. GREAT. She did great though considering we could all tell she didn't feel well. Matter of fact, she is snoozing at 4:40pm as I type this which is totally not like her.
In the above pic, on the left we have Kelly, momma to Nathan. She is also holding a sick M.E. Next to her is Amber holding Charlotte and her son, Cale, is in front of her. Next to her is Cale's twin sis, Brynn. Alison is on the right holding Norah (who did NOT want her picture made) and Norah's friend Jayden.
We had a great time today. Ladies, THANK YOU for coming and keeping my mind off the phone ringing. Speaking of, we have still heard nothing and feel like it will probably be tomorrow before we know something.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Adoption Update - Tuesday
Yes, another update.
We got a call this morning about an expecting mom in FL who is having a c-section this week. We decided to submit our profile and I actually just heard from the caseworker that they are overnighting our profile to the birthmom as we speak. We know it is a boy and that she has already seen a few profiles but was unable to find a family that was right for her and the baby.
It's been a very busy day. This call was actually NOT from one of the agencies we signed up with yesterday which is actually pretty funny (although it doesn't surprise me at all). Honestly, I am trying to not get excited and I am doing great. Pretty mellow about the whole thing honestly.
Angie V. and I went for a fabulously yummy lunch at the Veranda in Hendersonville. I then went and got my nails done, where M.E. was absolutely HORRIBLE. This was the first time she showed her 19 month old pitch a fit self in public and it was just tons of fun, let me tell you. When we left, I told her to tell everyone in there "bye!" because she wouldn't see any of them again for at least 3 years!
Now I am home to return phone calls and plan a transracial playgroup for tomorrow. Please say a prayer for this expecting mom in FL and her little boy that hasn't entered the world yet. I'll keep you posted!
We got a call this morning about an expecting mom in FL who is having a c-section this week. We decided to submit our profile and I actually just heard from the caseworker that they are overnighting our profile to the birthmom as we speak. We know it is a boy and that she has already seen a few profiles but was unable to find a family that was right for her and the baby.
It's been a very busy day. This call was actually NOT from one of the agencies we signed up with yesterday which is actually pretty funny (although it doesn't surprise me at all). Honestly, I am trying to not get excited and I am doing great. Pretty mellow about the whole thing honestly.
Angie V. and I went for a fabulously yummy lunch at the Veranda in Hendersonville. I then went and got my nails done, where M.E. was absolutely HORRIBLE. This was the first time she showed her 19 month old pitch a fit self in public and it was just tons of fun, let me tell you. When we left, I told her to tell everyone in there "bye!" because she wouldn't see any of them again for at least 3 years!
Now I am home to return phone calls and plan a transracial playgroup for tomorrow. Please say a prayer for this expecting mom in FL and her little boy that hasn't entered the world yet. I'll keep you posted!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Adoption Update - Monday
First, a huge thank you to all of you that have been praying for us, sent cards, facebook messages, etc. We have felt it and we are so thankful for the prayer warriors in our lives!
Second, I am feeling a bit better although I have to tell you that I am almost mad at myself for believing that was THE call. I know it sounds crazy, but I just KNEW that little girl was our daughter.
Third, I took the day off from adoption talk and headed to Center Hill lake to my parent's houseboat today. It was the first time Mary Elizabeth had been to the lake (yes, I am a paranoid freak when it comes to kids being around the water at the lake). Sad to say, none of us had a camera, but trust me...she loved it! She enjoyed riding in her stroller down to the houseboat, loved exploring the houseboat (which is as nice as my house), and loved looking at the fish Papa Eddie and I caught this morning. Yes, we caught some fish which was REALLY fun. Some people think I am nuts, but fishing really relaxes me and it was a GORGEOUS day.
Fourth, although I promised I was doing nothing adoption related today...well, I lied. We actually signed on with a new agency today. We were very hesitant to spend any more money out of pocket up front, but I had talked with Tracie so much and felt really comfortable paying Christian Adoption Consultants do it yourself fee. A big thanks to Tracie, Gretchen and Malcolm for all your help so far! For that fee, we received a FAT information packet that outlines all the agencies they work with. We also talked with D, our case worker at Catholic Charities, letting her know we are ready to pay their fee to sign with them as well. So far, we will have spent about $2250 out of pocket up front which includes our home study update, CAC fees, and CC fees. I honestly don't think that is too bad, especially considering it would cost more than that to get updated through Bethany.
So that's where we are. Honestly, even though we have been shown so much the last few weeks through Valley of Hope, I really almost feel like we are back to the beginning again. We have been very pleased with the service we have received from everyone so far so a big thanks to Erin and Gloria at Valley of Hope.
I'll keep you posted as to the next steps, but for now it appears that I will be spending the next few days making copies of our profiles, filling out applications and getting paperwork ready to mail to all the agencies that CAC sent us today.
Second, I am feeling a bit better although I have to tell you that I am almost mad at myself for believing that was THE call. I know it sounds crazy, but I just KNEW that little girl was our daughter.
Third, I took the day off from adoption talk and headed to Center Hill lake to my parent's houseboat today. It was the first time Mary Elizabeth had been to the lake (yes, I am a paranoid freak when it comes to kids being around the water at the lake). Sad to say, none of us had a camera, but trust me...she loved it! She enjoyed riding in her stroller down to the houseboat, loved exploring the houseboat (which is as nice as my house), and loved looking at the fish Papa Eddie and I caught this morning. Yes, we caught some fish which was REALLY fun. Some people think I am nuts, but fishing really relaxes me and it was a GORGEOUS day.
Fourth, although I promised I was doing nothing adoption related today...well, I lied. We actually signed on with a new agency today. We were very hesitant to spend any more money out of pocket up front, but I had talked with Tracie so much and felt really comfortable paying Christian Adoption Consultants do it yourself fee. A big thanks to Tracie, Gretchen and Malcolm for all your help so far! For that fee, we received a FAT information packet that outlines all the agencies they work with. We also talked with D, our case worker at Catholic Charities, letting her know we are ready to pay their fee to sign with them as well. So far, we will have spent about $2250 out of pocket up front which includes our home study update, CAC fees, and CC fees. I honestly don't think that is too bad, especially considering it would cost more than that to get updated through Bethany.
So that's where we are. Honestly, even though we have been shown so much the last few weeks through Valley of Hope, I really almost feel like we are back to the beginning again. We have been very pleased with the service we have received from everyone so far so a big thanks to Erin and Gloria at Valley of Hope.
I'll keep you posted as to the next steps, but for now it appears that I will be spending the next few days making copies of our profiles, filling out applications and getting paperwork ready to mail to all the agencies that CAC sent us today.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
New Kids On The Block - Nashville
This post is a little out of order simply because I had to swipe the pics off of facebook and I had honestly forgotten until I got into my "blog update" mode.
Last Monday night, March 16, was New Kids on the Block at the Sommet Center here in Nashville. If you'll remember, Chris and Kim took J and I to see them in Chicago last year for a nice couple's weekend (thanks again!). When we heard they were coming to Nashville, Kim and I immediately started making plans on who all we wanted to ask to go, etc. Then, Chris called me to tell me he had bought out a suite at the Sommet for Kim's birthday! That meant that Kim would get to invite 15 of her closest friends (I'm honored to be one of them).
So the big night was last Monday. We had thrown around the idea of "dressing up" for the concert, as we had seen many people do this in Chicago. Kim and I thought it could be fun since there was such a large group of us going. Honestly, I didn't know if I would have it in me since we literally had just finished with the consignment sale the day before.
I headed to Goodwill on Monday morning and found the perfect overalls. Osh Kosh acid wash with pleats in the front. Oh yeah! Some faux Sam and Libby's and a can of hairspray and I was ready. Angie V, Laura, Becca and I met on our side of town, while all the Franklin girls met at Lampo and rode together. I had never met Becca before, but had known her hubby from childhood so I was excited to meet her. She was just precious and we had a great time getting to know each other on the ride down.
God was watching out for us and we literally got one of the last parking spots in the church parking lot right next to Sommet (or the GEC as we still call it). We walked right in to the suite which was AWESOME! Tons of food including hot wings, fajitas, gourmet sandwiches, fresh fruit and anything you could want to drink. My favorite moment of the night was seeing Kim's outfit when she walked in and her reaction to ours!
The Jabawoceez (I had no idea if I spelled that right) were the opening act. They were the winning group on that MTV show America's Next Dance Crew (or something like that). Although they were a little creepy with their masks, they were really good and definitely had us dancing a few times. Then, it was time for those Boston boys!
The concert was great as usual! Took me back to 7th grade all over again! A HUGE THANK YOU TO KIM for inviting me. I had so much fun and I love you to death! Enjoy these pics:
Last Monday night, March 16, was New Kids on the Block at the Sommet Center here in Nashville. If you'll remember, Chris and Kim took J and I to see them in Chicago last year for a nice couple's weekend (thanks again!). When we heard they were coming to Nashville, Kim and I immediately started making plans on who all we wanted to ask to go, etc. Then, Chris called me to tell me he had bought out a suite at the Sommet for Kim's birthday! That meant that Kim would get to invite 15 of her closest friends (I'm honored to be one of them).
So the big night was last Monday. We had thrown around the idea of "dressing up" for the concert, as we had seen many people do this in Chicago. Kim and I thought it could be fun since there was such a large group of us going. Honestly, I didn't know if I would have it in me since we literally had just finished with the consignment sale the day before.
I headed to Goodwill on Monday morning and found the perfect overalls. Osh Kosh acid wash with pleats in the front. Oh yeah! Some faux Sam and Libby's and a can of hairspray and I was ready. Angie V, Laura, Becca and I met on our side of town, while all the Franklin girls met at Lampo and rode together. I had never met Becca before, but had known her hubby from childhood so I was excited to meet her. She was just precious and we had a great time getting to know each other on the ride down.
God was watching out for us and we literally got one of the last parking spots in the church parking lot right next to Sommet (or the GEC as we still call it). We walked right in to the suite which was AWESOME! Tons of food including hot wings, fajitas, gourmet sandwiches, fresh fruit and anything you could want to drink. My favorite moment of the night was seeing Kim's outfit when she walked in and her reaction to ours!
The Jabawoceez (I had no idea if I spelled that right) were the opening act. They were the winning group on that MTV show America's Next Dance Crew (or something like that). Although they were a little creepy with their masks, they were really good and definitely had us dancing a few times. Then, it was time for those Boston boys!
The concert was great as usual! Took me back to 7th grade all over again! A HUGE THANK YOU TO KIM for inviting me. I had so much fun and I love you to death! Enjoy these pics:
Adoption Update - Sunday
Earlier in the week I told you we were being shown to a birthmom who was due in April with a boy. I thought I would take a few minutes to tell you what it is like to be shown (for those of you unfamiliar with adoption).
J and I had to prepare a book of pictures and descriptions about our family. This also includes a personal letter to the birthmother from each of us. I did ours on Shutterfly only to not be able to figure out how to email it, so Jonathan took the Shutterfly document and put it into Microsoft Publisher. Our first profile for Mary Elizabeth was done with my scrapbook supplies so it was bright and colorful and took a lot of time. This profile I wanted to be more streamlined and modern so the majority of the pages are a large picture with a description on the opposite page. I really like how it turned out. It puts the focus on the pictures, not all the fussy scrapbook stuff.
We were told that the birthmother was viewing profiles on Tuesday, which she did. She took our profile home to share with her family and planned to meet up with the social worker on Thursday for a doctor's appt and then lunch with the social worker, mother and herself. Evidently, she didn't show. When they tried to call her on Friday, she didn't answer. Where does this leave us?
Well, this is what I like to refer to as a birthmother who has gone MIA (missing in action). We had this happen to us once before in the adoption process of M.E. They may decide to parent, they may just be sick, they may just want to escape from reality for a while. I'm not sure and honestly, I can't blame them if the latter is their reasoning.
How does this affect us? Well, in a traditional agency setting they would have probably put our profile on hold for a few days to see if they heard back. Since we are self submitting this time, I think it kind of fell in our hands to see if we wanted to wait or move on. Honestly, we did nothing, but I have to admit I was SOOOO frustrated Friday night. I'm honestly not sure who I was frustrated with, I was just frustrated.
Last night, we had a message from our social worker saying that they had heard from the birthmom and she had decided she really wanted someone closer to where she lives. BUT they had a baby girl born yesterday she wanted to talk to us about!
I have to tell you, for the first time in this whole second process, I got THE feeling. I sat straight up in bed (it was late when we got the message, we had been at the ER with Anna). I just KNEW this was our daughter. I tried to call our social worker back. I tried the work line just in case. I tried to email her. I then emailed the director of the agency. That's when we were told that the fees were INSANELY high. Like so high, there is no way we could do it. You might be thinking, "why are the fees so high?" Honestly, I don't know. But, my heart was broken. BROKEN. Oh, I cried. For the first time this whole time (besides Ben), I just let it flow out of me. I told God I was just broken. In my mind, I was trying to come up with ways to earn an extra $10K in 24 hours. I was just so broken.
That's when I checked my email and the social worker sent me the sweetest note titled Jeremiah 29:11. She said she couldn't sleep and came in to find our messages. Peace washed over me as I know that was God speaking through her, telling me he DOES have a plan for us. Reminding me to just sit back and watch. Reminding me to TRUST HIM.
Honestly, I'm still a little sad today even though I know God is so much bigger than my silly sadness. I am trusting him...even if that means no more babies for our family. Even if that means that we aren't meant to adopt again. Even if that means that what I feel like he is calling me to do is not really what he is calling me to do. I'm trusting him.
I stayed home from church today because a)I am all "swood" up from crying last night 2)I honestly didn't want to answer any questions and c)I need to spend some quiet time in the word and refocus. I think I got a little caught up in the whole thing this week and it's time to take a step back.
I'll keep you posted on our journey...just thought you might want to see the inside of being shown and how emotional it can be.
J and I had to prepare a book of pictures and descriptions about our family. This also includes a personal letter to the birthmother from each of us. I did ours on Shutterfly only to not be able to figure out how to email it, so Jonathan took the Shutterfly document and put it into Microsoft Publisher. Our first profile for Mary Elizabeth was done with my scrapbook supplies so it was bright and colorful and took a lot of time. This profile I wanted to be more streamlined and modern so the majority of the pages are a large picture with a description on the opposite page. I really like how it turned out. It puts the focus on the pictures, not all the fussy scrapbook stuff.
We were told that the birthmother was viewing profiles on Tuesday, which she did. She took our profile home to share with her family and planned to meet up with the social worker on Thursday for a doctor's appt and then lunch with the social worker, mother and herself. Evidently, she didn't show. When they tried to call her on Friday, she didn't answer. Where does this leave us?
Well, this is what I like to refer to as a birthmother who has gone MIA (missing in action). We had this happen to us once before in the adoption process of M.E. They may decide to parent, they may just be sick, they may just want to escape from reality for a while. I'm not sure and honestly, I can't blame them if the latter is their reasoning.
How does this affect us? Well, in a traditional agency setting they would have probably put our profile on hold for a few days to see if they heard back. Since we are self submitting this time, I think it kind of fell in our hands to see if we wanted to wait or move on. Honestly, we did nothing, but I have to admit I was SOOOO frustrated Friday night. I'm honestly not sure who I was frustrated with, I was just frustrated.
Last night, we had a message from our social worker saying that they had heard from the birthmom and she had decided she really wanted someone closer to where she lives. BUT they had a baby girl born yesterday she wanted to talk to us about!
I have to tell you, for the first time in this whole second process, I got THE feeling. I sat straight up in bed (it was late when we got the message, we had been at the ER with Anna). I just KNEW this was our daughter. I tried to call our social worker back. I tried the work line just in case. I tried to email her. I then emailed the director of the agency. That's when we were told that the fees were INSANELY high. Like so high, there is no way we could do it. You might be thinking, "why are the fees so high?" Honestly, I don't know. But, my heart was broken. BROKEN. Oh, I cried. For the first time this whole time (besides Ben), I just let it flow out of me. I told God I was just broken. In my mind, I was trying to come up with ways to earn an extra $10K in 24 hours. I was just so broken.
That's when I checked my email and the social worker sent me the sweetest note titled Jeremiah 29:11. She said she couldn't sleep and came in to find our messages. Peace washed over me as I know that was God speaking through her, telling me he DOES have a plan for us. Reminding me to just sit back and watch. Reminding me to TRUST HIM.
Honestly, I'm still a little sad today even though I know God is so much bigger than my silly sadness. I am trusting him...even if that means no more babies for our family. Even if that means that we aren't meant to adopt again. Even if that means that what I feel like he is calling me to do is not really what he is calling me to do. I'm trusting him.
I stayed home from church today because a)I am all "swood" up from crying last night 2)I honestly didn't want to answer any questions and c)I need to spend some quiet time in the word and refocus. I think I got a little caught up in the whole thing this week and it's time to take a step back.
I'll keep you posted on our journey...just thought you might want to see the inside of being shown and how emotional it can be.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Upwards Basketball - Saturday
On Friday night, I went to bed early simply because I was frustrated with the whole adoption process AND I had a migraine. I gave in and went to bed. Because I went to bed so early, I was up bright and early on Saturday morning and decided that was my sign that I was to go junking. I called mom and we met up about 7am. We headed to a neighborhood yard sale where I found some great deals. I had been looking for a bookcase for our bonus room to house my scrapbooks. I found a BRAND NEW black 6 ft. bookcase in box for $25!! I also got a Leapster and 6 games, a Build A Bear and some clothes, and another toy. I spent less than $35 total!
The boys had their last basketball game at 8am so we went and watched them. Then, we headed back to the house to assemble the bookcase, clean up and get prepared for Anna's 1pm basketball game. I should take this moment to tell you that her last game was actually a mommy/daughter game. I should also take this moment to tell you that I am not a basketball playing kind of gal. Give me a volleyball anyday, but not basketball.
So, at 1pm it was time for the faceoff. As I told Anna, it was on like donkey kong. Aunt Ali and her friend Lindsey also came and played. I did not realize how out of shape I was until I had to run up and down a court, dribble and shoot for 5 minutes non stop. WHEW! During half time, Anna mentioned that she was a little dizzy and hot. We dosed her up with some Gatorade and told her to rest. Honestly, I didn't even notice a while later that she was back in the game. I didn't notice until I saw Jonathan carrying her off the court (J was the ref) Evidently, her vision went black while running and she almost passed out. He scooped her up, carried her to the sidelines where we pumped her full of sugar and put cold compresses on her forehead and neck (THANKS AUNT ALI for all your help!). After a few minutes, her pulse was still 62 and she was still very dizzy and disoriented so it was off to the emergency room.
I don't believe in coincidences and this was yet another example of God watching out for us. When we arrived at the hospital and checked her in, our friend Beth walked out. She just happened to be working and noticed Anna's name come across the screen. She immediately made us all feel better and within a few minutes we were in triage. We then went to her room in the ER and guess who her nurse was? Her sunday school teacher! By the time we got back to the room, she was FINALLY feeling better and getting her color back. The ER doc decided to go ahead and run some tests just in case. After getting blood drawn and having an EKG, we were discharged with a clean bill of health. They sent her home with strict orders to rest and drink plenty of fluids.
Here's my tween laying in her hospital bed. This is after she started feeling better.
Look at these LONG legs. Have I mentioned she looks like a spider monkey on the basketball court? She never stops moving.
We finally got home around 6pm and were just exhausted. I'm looking forward to a nice day of rest tomorrow!
The boys had their last basketball game at 8am so we went and watched them. Then, we headed back to the house to assemble the bookcase, clean up and get prepared for Anna's 1pm basketball game. I should take this moment to tell you that her last game was actually a mommy/daughter game. I should also take this moment to tell you that I am not a basketball playing kind of gal. Give me a volleyball anyday, but not basketball.
So, at 1pm it was time for the faceoff. As I told Anna, it was on like donkey kong. Aunt Ali and her friend Lindsey also came and played. I did not realize how out of shape I was until I had to run up and down a court, dribble and shoot for 5 minutes non stop. WHEW! During half time, Anna mentioned that she was a little dizzy and hot. We dosed her up with some Gatorade and told her to rest. Honestly, I didn't even notice a while later that she was back in the game. I didn't notice until I saw Jonathan carrying her off the court (J was the ref) Evidently, her vision went black while running and she almost passed out. He scooped her up, carried her to the sidelines where we pumped her full of sugar and put cold compresses on her forehead and neck (THANKS AUNT ALI for all your help!). After a few minutes, her pulse was still 62 and she was still very dizzy and disoriented so it was off to the emergency room.
I don't believe in coincidences and this was yet another example of God watching out for us. When we arrived at the hospital and checked her in, our friend Beth walked out. She just happened to be working and noticed Anna's name come across the screen. She immediately made us all feel better and within a few minutes we were in triage. We then went to her room in the ER and guess who her nurse was? Her sunday school teacher! By the time we got back to the room, she was FINALLY feeling better and getting her color back. The ER doc decided to go ahead and run some tests just in case. After getting blood drawn and having an EKG, we were discharged with a clean bill of health. They sent her home with strict orders to rest and drink plenty of fluids.
Here's my tween laying in her hospital bed. This is after she started feeling better.
Look at these LONG legs. Have I mentioned she looks like a spider monkey on the basketball court? She never stops moving.
We finally got home around 6pm and were just exhausted. I'm looking forward to a nice day of rest tomorrow!
Guess Who Got Her Ears Pierced?
On Friday, I was having a poopy day. I was frustrated with the whole adoption process, fighting off sinus headaches and just ill. My dear friend whom I have decided I was DESTINED to be friends with, Alison Bynum, and I decided to get together. She's a brave woman for putting up with my crap. Anyway, M.E. and I loaded up to head to Smyrna and hang. We got some Sonic and headed to Alison's for lunch with the girls. I got some good Charlotte loving while M.E. ate. Then, Norah got up for her nap and said "Bee!" which totally made my day. After lunch, we were tossing around ideas of where to go. That's when it hit me! Let's go get M.E. and Char's ears pieced. She called Brad. I called Jonathan. Neither cared so we decided to go for it. We headed to Claire's in Smyrna.
I'll let the pics tell the story, but first I have to say a HUGE thank you to Alison for capturing this special moment for Mary Elizabeth. I will treasure these pics forever!
This pic was taken before at Alison's. The last picture of my baby before the earrings!
Picking out the right ones:
Norah watching as the drama unfolds:
Yes, she cried. But not for long. And then she was a happy camper!
Yes, she is officially a todder. I LOVE the earrings on her. She has done great so far and Anna is very excited that they will get to have matching earrings!
P.S. Alison decided not to pierce Char's ears after all.
I'll let the pics tell the story, but first I have to say a HUGE thank you to Alison for capturing this special moment for Mary Elizabeth. I will treasure these pics forever!
This pic was taken before at Alison's. The last picture of my baby before the earrings!
Picking out the right ones:
Norah watching as the drama unfolds:
Yes, she cried. But not for long. And then she was a happy camper!
Yes, she is officially a todder. I LOVE the earrings on her. She has done great so far and Anna is very excited that they will get to have matching earrings!
P.S. Alison decided not to pierce Char's ears after all.
PF Changs - Thursday
I didn't tell you in the previous post, but Mary Elizabeth spent the night with Grandmother Wednesday night because she was getting her hair done on Thursday. Thursday night J and I decided to have a date night with Angie and Robert. Tuesday was Robert's 45 birthday and since it was St. Patrick's Day and we didn't want to be out with all the drunks, we decided to do it Thursday night instead.
My wonderful workers at the consignment sale gave me a gift this year. They all went in together and bought me a brand new Vera Bradley purse, a nice bottle of wine and a $50 gift certificate to PF Changs. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE our workers.
So, off to PF Changs we went. It had been a while since we had been and I had forgotten just how much I love their chicken lettuce wraps. YUM! They were offering a dinner for 2 special so J and I did that. You basically got to pick 2 soups, 1 appetizer, 2 entrees and 2 deserts for $39. It was super yummy and we had a great time. Happy Birthday Robert!
Here's J and I:
Robert and Angie V.
My wonderful workers at the consignment sale gave me a gift this year. They all went in together and bought me a brand new Vera Bradley purse, a nice bottle of wine and a $50 gift certificate to PF Changs. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE our workers.
So, off to PF Changs we went. It had been a while since we had been and I had forgotten just how much I love their chicken lettuce wraps. YUM! They were offering a dinner for 2 special so J and I did that. You basically got to pick 2 soups, 1 appetizer, 2 entrees and 2 deserts for $39. It was super yummy and we had a great time. Happy Birthday Robert!
Here's J and I:
Robert and Angie V.
Build a Bear and Rainforest Cafe - Wednesday
Can I just say I feel like I have lived nine lives since Wednesday? Oh wait, that's a cat that has nine lives. Well, anyway, we've been a tad bit busy. Here's the scoop.
We promised the kids we would take them plus a friend EACH to Build a Bear on Wednesday night. We paid for each child to make a bear of their choice, but they had to use their own money to buy any accessories. Anna, Isaac and Luke made $70 EACH at the consignment sale from cleaning out unwanted toys. Anna asked her friend Kelsey to go with her and Isaac and Luke asked Camden to go. They also wanted Austin to go, but he was feeling under the weather. Here's the first pic I snapped of them getting their animals stuffed. You'll notice that Luke is not in this pic simply because he COULD NOT make up his mind as to what he wanted. I thought the kid would never pick one out.
Then we had a reservation at the Rainforest Cafe. We were supposed to be there at 7:22pm even though we had put our name in a full hour before that time. It was kids' night where all kids meals are $1.99 with each adult meal purchased. It was packed. So we piled into rainforest with many stares and looks. You see, Anna and the boys are practically the same size, Camden is the same size and Kelsey is also a peanut, so it looked like we had 5 kids the same age. This first pic was snapped in front of the water.
Our kids were OFFICIALLY bouncing off the walls. So excited about all things bears. So excited about all the animals and the storm coming at Rainforest. So excited because there was a balloon man four tables over. SO EXCITED.
I was really proud of the kids because even with all the excitement, they still acted very good and used their manners. Here's the boys:
Here's the crazy girls:
Here's a tired mommy and daddy:
After our yummy meal, we let the kids order a Volcano. If you've never had a volcano, it's basically brownies, ice cream and lots of whipped cream. They put a silver sparkler in the top and shout VOLCANO! as they bring them out. The kids were so excited. Mom and Dad weren't. It was $12 for a freakin' desert.
The kids had a great, late night. They all fell asleep with their bears tucked in beside them.
We promised the kids we would take them plus a friend EACH to Build a Bear on Wednesday night. We paid for each child to make a bear of their choice, but they had to use their own money to buy any accessories. Anna, Isaac and Luke made $70 EACH at the consignment sale from cleaning out unwanted toys. Anna asked her friend Kelsey to go with her and Isaac and Luke asked Camden to go. They also wanted Austin to go, but he was feeling under the weather. Here's the first pic I snapped of them getting their animals stuffed. You'll notice that Luke is not in this pic simply because he COULD NOT make up his mind as to what he wanted. I thought the kid would never pick one out.
Then we had a reservation at the Rainforest Cafe. We were supposed to be there at 7:22pm even though we had put our name in a full hour before that time. It was kids' night where all kids meals are $1.99 with each adult meal purchased. It was packed. So we piled into rainforest with many stares and looks. You see, Anna and the boys are practically the same size, Camden is the same size and Kelsey is also a peanut, so it looked like we had 5 kids the same age. This first pic was snapped in front of the water.
Our kids were OFFICIALLY bouncing off the walls. So excited about all things bears. So excited about all the animals and the storm coming at Rainforest. So excited because there was a balloon man four tables over. SO EXCITED.
I was really proud of the kids because even with all the excitement, they still acted very good and used their manners. Here's the boys:
Here's the crazy girls:
Here's a tired mommy and daddy:
After our yummy meal, we let the kids order a Volcano. If you've never had a volcano, it's basically brownies, ice cream and lots of whipped cream. They put a silver sparkler in the top and shout VOLCANO! as they bring them out. The kids were so excited. Mom and Dad weren't. It was $12 for a freakin' desert.
The kids had a great, late night. They all fell asleep with their bears tucked in beside them.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Life gets back to normal....whatever that is
The sale is officially over. It was our biggest sale yet, we actually grew almost 20% over past sales which is amazing considering I definitely think people are more focused on their spending habits these days. We had an amazing group of workers, seriously amazing, that made this the most un-stressful sale I have ever had. I was actually able to leave a few hours early on a couple of days due to migraines simply because either my mom or Jonathan was there and we had such an awesome group of workers, I didn't have to worry. The sort was over in under 3 hours (another amazing thing) and pick up went as smooth as ever. There were no 1 hour waits for checks like there have been in the past. The rest of the checks were sent out today and now we feel like we are back to normal. Whatever that is.
I think I realized during this sale that many might view our family as abnormal. Not necessarily in a bad way, but I got quite a few comments like "how do you do it?", "FOUR kids and you are going to adopt another one?", etc. It's funny to see the world's view of us sometimes when I feel like we are as normal as normal can be. Don't get me wrong, I get from a color standpoint we do look different, but having four kids to me is very normal. Honestly, the idea of adding more is normal. And I do get that it is abnormal to some, I just sometimes wish that people would stop and think about the fact that having a lot of children shouldn't be so strange.
Many asked during the sale where we are in the process of adopting our fifth child. We have completed our part of the homestudy and our caseworker is writing that up. We are actively sending out our profile (a book about us) to agencies that may have a need for families. We have actually already been shown several times although I haven't talked about it on here. I haven't talked about it for several reasons. First, although I know this blog helps people in the process of adoption, we have been so busy that I haven't had time to sit down and actually type it out every time we know we are being shown to birthparents. Second, after the adoption of Ben in Ethiopia fell through, it was really tough being asked all the questions about what happened, etc. We just decided to keep things a little more private this time.
I do plan to update the status bar on the right in the next few days about our process this time. It's just going to take some time to go back through all my notes and pick out dates, etc. to post on there.
We are being shown today to a birthmom who is due in April. As far as we know, she is having a little boy. Being shown this go around has looked a lot different for me. Last time, I was a nervous wreck every time we were shown. This time I just feel like there is no point in getting all worked up over something that is completely out of my hands. I KNOW God is in control of this adoption. He already had this next chapter of our lives planned out before I was even on this earth. Even if that means we don't adopt again, I KNOW his will is perfect and I trust that. It has taken me 31 years to say that.
So that's the update on us. Everyone is healthy. The kids are glad to have us back home and as I type, M.E. is laying here asleep next to me. Our life is good.
I think I realized during this sale that many might view our family as abnormal. Not necessarily in a bad way, but I got quite a few comments like "how do you do it?", "FOUR kids and you are going to adopt another one?", etc. It's funny to see the world's view of us sometimes when I feel like we are as normal as normal can be. Don't get me wrong, I get from a color standpoint we do look different, but having four kids to me is very normal. Honestly, the idea of adding more is normal. And I do get that it is abnormal to some, I just sometimes wish that people would stop and think about the fact that having a lot of children shouldn't be so strange.
Many asked during the sale where we are in the process of adopting our fifth child. We have completed our part of the homestudy and our caseworker is writing that up. We are actively sending out our profile (a book about us) to agencies that may have a need for families. We have actually already been shown several times although I haven't talked about it on here. I haven't talked about it for several reasons. First, although I know this blog helps people in the process of adoption, we have been so busy that I haven't had time to sit down and actually type it out every time we know we are being shown to birthparents. Second, after the adoption of Ben in Ethiopia fell through, it was really tough being asked all the questions about what happened, etc. We just decided to keep things a little more private this time.
I do plan to update the status bar on the right in the next few days about our process this time. It's just going to take some time to go back through all my notes and pick out dates, etc. to post on there.
We are being shown today to a birthmom who is due in April. As far as we know, she is having a little boy. Being shown this go around has looked a lot different for me. Last time, I was a nervous wreck every time we were shown. This time I just feel like there is no point in getting all worked up over something that is completely out of my hands. I KNOW God is in control of this adoption. He already had this next chapter of our lives planned out before I was even on this earth. Even if that means we don't adopt again, I KNOW his will is perfect and I trust that. It has taken me 31 years to say that.
So that's the update on us. Everyone is healthy. The kids are glad to have us back home and as I type, M.E. is laying here asleep next to me. Our life is good.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Joy
Well, we just completed day 4 of the sale. I'm not as tired as I expected I would be, but I think that is partly because I got a killer migraine yesterday which forced me to come home early and get 14 hours of sleep.
The sale is AMAZING. Seriously. Unbelievably amazing. There are huge pockets of space that are EMPTY and yet people are still shopping. My prayer right now is that we get some amazing restock in the next few days so that people continue to have items to buy.
Last night, I woke up at one point as my head was pounding and I just couldn't sleep it hurt so bad. I spent some time in prayer and God laid this on my heart: what has happened to people's joy? Dealing with the public is not always an easy job, but now more than ever I have noticed that people just seem sad. depressed. lost. Where is their joy?
Yes, the economy is not the best (although we are choosing not to participate in the recession-we'd work at McDonalds if we had to). Yes, people have lost their jobs. Yes, money is tight. Yes, the weather is iffy. BUT, I am so thankful that I am able to have the ability to LIVE. Even on bad days, I have JOY. The Lord has been pruning me the last few weeks to remind me to be THANKFUL all the time. So many times, we hit our knees only when life is really yucky, but what about all the times that life is great. My family is healthy. My husband has a job. I am just happy to be alive. I am happy I live in a free country that allows me to go to church, where I learned about HIM. I am so thankful that I can worship my savior freely. I am so thankful I am able to smile, laugh, and enjoy being his child (and I am thankful that I make a million mistakes-and learn from them)
So, I question you: where is your joy!?!?! Don't walk around with a frown. If you know God, you KNOW JOY! Show it off. Make people wonder what is different about you? Make people want to know Jesus because of you!
I saw a quote recently that said something like "Live your life so that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the devil thinks, "oh crap, she's up!" I want to be that woman. I want people to see GOD in me. I want to radiate joy!
The sale is AMAZING. Seriously. Unbelievably amazing. There are huge pockets of space that are EMPTY and yet people are still shopping. My prayer right now is that we get some amazing restock in the next few days so that people continue to have items to buy.
Last night, I woke up at one point as my head was pounding and I just couldn't sleep it hurt so bad. I spent some time in prayer and God laid this on my heart: what has happened to people's joy? Dealing with the public is not always an easy job, but now more than ever I have noticed that people just seem sad. depressed. lost. Where is their joy?
Yes, the economy is not the best (although we are choosing not to participate in the recession-we'd work at McDonalds if we had to). Yes, people have lost their jobs. Yes, money is tight. Yes, the weather is iffy. BUT, I am so thankful that I am able to have the ability to LIVE. Even on bad days, I have JOY. The Lord has been pruning me the last few weeks to remind me to be THANKFUL all the time. So many times, we hit our knees only when life is really yucky, but what about all the times that life is great. My family is healthy. My husband has a job. I am just happy to be alive. I am happy I live in a free country that allows me to go to church, where I learned about HIM. I am so thankful that I can worship my savior freely. I am so thankful I am able to smile, laugh, and enjoy being his child (and I am thankful that I make a million mistakes-and learn from them)
So, I question you: where is your joy!?!?! Don't walk around with a frown. If you know God, you KNOW JOY! Show it off. Make people wonder what is different about you? Make people want to know Jesus because of you!
I saw a quote recently that said something like "Live your life so that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the devil thinks, "oh crap, she's up!" I want to be that woman. I want people to see GOD in me. I want to radiate joy!
Friday, March 6, 2009
The Winner Shopping...
As you know, Melissa won the adoption fundraiser and got to shop with me! What I didn't tell you is that I know Melissa because we both adopted transracially through Bethany Christian Services. So when I facebooked her and told her she had won, we also decided to make it a little playgroup for our kids.
So yesterday, before Melissa shopped, all my friends who have adopted transracially (white mommas, black babies) came up and we let the kids play. We had Melissa, mom to two girls. Alison, mom to two girls. Amber, mom to bio girl and boy/girl twins. And me and M.E.
M.E. LOVED following around Cale and Brynn, Amber's kiddos. She wasn't quite sure what to think of Melissa and Alison's babies. We had fun watching Melissa shop and Angie V. snapped this picture of her with her finds. Melissa had never been to Encores North before so I was especially excited just to see her face when she saw how much stuff she had to pick from. The only thing she didn't find was a side by side stroller.
Thanks girls for bringing the kids to play. Amber and I got our baby fix (at least, for a few minutes) and it was fun to catch up with friends who "get it"
So yesterday, before Melissa shopped, all my friends who have adopted transracially (white mommas, black babies) came up and we let the kids play. We had Melissa, mom to two girls. Alison, mom to two girls. Amber, mom to bio girl and boy/girl twins. And me and M.E.
M.E. LOVED following around Cale and Brynn, Amber's kiddos. She wasn't quite sure what to think of Melissa and Alison's babies. We had fun watching Melissa shop and Angie V. snapped this picture of her with her finds. Melissa had never been to Encores North before so I was especially excited just to see her face when she saw how much stuff she had to pick from. The only thing she didn't find was a side by side stroller.
Thanks girls for bringing the kids to play. Amber and I got our baby fix (at least, for a few minutes) and it was fun to catch up with friends who "get it"
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Matilda Jane....and a little jewelry
As I have mentioned before, tomorrow night (Wednesday) is the Matilda Jane party being held at the consignment sale. If you have never been to a Matilda Jane trunk show, you are definitely missing out. They have CUTE CUTE CUTE girl's clothes and some pretty adorable mommy stuff too!
It's at 6:30pm, you don't have to have an invite...JUST COME! Here's a sneak peek at some of the goodies for sale tomorrow night:
Also, we are closing out the Lia Sophia party on Thursday night. They are having a FAB incentive right now. Buy 3 pieces of jewelry, get your most expensive piece at 1/2 off! AND YOU GET TO PICK an additional 3 pairs of earrings for half off!! GREAT DEALS! I have some catalogs at the sale so just ask me about it. I'll be happy to send you off with a catalog.
Sale is going awesome. Tomorrow they will have shown our house 3 times already this week! Your prayers are working...I am completely peaceful, as well rested as possible, and PRAISING GOD for our awesome space and wonderful workers and consignors.
It's at 6:30pm, you don't have to have an invite...JUST COME! Here's a sneak peek at some of the goodies for sale tomorrow night:
Also, we are closing out the Lia Sophia party on Thursday night. They are having a FAB incentive right now. Buy 3 pieces of jewelry, get your most expensive piece at 1/2 off! AND YOU GET TO PICK an additional 3 pairs of earrings for half off!! GREAT DEALS! I have some catalogs at the sale so just ask me about it. I'll be happy to send you off with a catalog.
Sale is going awesome. Tomorrow they will have shown our house 3 times already this week! Your prayers are working...I am completely peaceful, as well rested as possible, and PRAISING GOD for our awesome space and wonderful workers and consignors.
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