We got THE first call....asking us if we wanted our profile to be shown tomorrow to a birthmother. All we know is that the baby girl was born June 29th and they are hopeful she will be in to view profiles tomorrow. She asked that the family already have children so that is why we were called. Please pray for this birthmother....that if she chooses to parent that she be blessed with the resources, if she chooses an adoptive family that she be at peace with her decision. That she pick the perfect family for her baby....
I am not asking you to pray that we are the family. God has already decided where this child will be raised. We are not important in this process, the baby is.
We will keep you posted!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
I am so thankful for my husband....
God reminded me yet again today how thankful I am for my husband. He is my soulmate, my best friend, a great dad and a great spiritual leader for our household. I am glad you are ok from your wreck this morning....and I'm glad you didn't kill the lady who hit you because I wouldn't want to visit you in jail (trust me, Jonathan doesn't get angered easily....but he was NOT a happy man this morning)
The Fray
Oooh, I love the Fray (they are a band for those of you that don't know)
The played at the GEC in Nashville last night and I really wanted to go. Started watching craigslist for tickets and was about ready to buy some when my friend Angie told me she had won a pair off the radio. THANKS Lightning 100.1!!!!
For those of you that really know me, I typically listen to Christian, talk radio (Dave Ramsey), jazz and Lightning 100.1 here in Nashville. I discovered the Fray from Grey's Anatomy, but really loved their whole CD once my hubby downloaded it.
So off to the Fray we went (after some PF Chang's of course)
It was really good and I took this horrible pic from my cell phone. THANKS Angie for taking me....I needed a good, fun night out!
Funeral Arrangements for Betsy
Yes, sad but true, but Betsy the Beast has gone on to a better place (actually, she is sitting in a towing lot in Nashville)
This morning my dear husband drove her to work because today was bike day at summer camp (this is the last full week for the kids to go). After dropping them off at camp, he proceeded to work. On his way, a lady hit him. He is ok...really he is...but the lady is at the hospital with neck/back pain. The police determined the wreck was her fault. I picked him up at Mrs. Winner's where the police dropped him off and we went to the visitation of Betsy at the tow in lot. She ain't pretty.
I'll miss you Betsy, but you know what, you are just a car.....and I am so thankful that my husband is ok.
Now to find a new car and a new name, sounds like fun huh?
Thursday, July 5, 2007
When it rains, it pours...
After posting my super depressing notes on Monday, several things happened. I had a great conversation with my mom....I had assumed she was calling after reading my blog, but she hadn't. It was an awesome time of talking about how much we have learned through this process, with or without a baby. How AWARE we are of racism now, more so than ever....how the whole family will be impacted. It was a good chat.
Then, on Tuesday, I got to go to my sister's doctors appointments and got to see a 3D ultrasound of Maggie. I know, I know...I STILL haven't posted pics yet but hey, I am not a big digital buff so I am relying on a CD from my fam to get these uploaded (HINT HINT!)
After seeing those beautiful chubby cheeks on my niece, I checked voicemail and my boss from the clinic had called. I returned his phone call only to find out I had been laid off. YUCK!
I LOVE my job....I know you can't always tell from my posts, but I do. I love the people (even the crazy ones), I love the insane pace, etc. What is really a GOD thing is that while crying my eyes out I realized that I would have to pull the kids out of summer camp since my part time gig footed the bill, and suddenly the part time gig is GONE! Instead of being frantic, I had a great peace and realized that this was God's way of saying, "spend some good quality time with the kiddos before they all go to school" I felt ok...and then I read the comments on my last post and it seems that all of you were praying for the same thing for me. Peace and more quality time with my kiddos before the new Freeman arrives.
So, yes, it poured some more after Monday, but hey, rain brings growth and I am ready to grow in GOD so bring on the rain.
Believe it or not, the kids are really excited about no more camp. Don't get me wrong, THEY LOVE IT and beg to go every morning but I think they are excited to explore some new adventures with mom and I am too!
P.S. My social worker is back in town...have I mentioned I LOVE her. I told her about the situation we were presented with and that we had turned it down. I think she was really impressed that we kept our cool in that tough decision we had to make...
Then, on Tuesday, I got to go to my sister's doctors appointments and got to see a 3D ultrasound of Maggie. I know, I know...I STILL haven't posted pics yet but hey, I am not a big digital buff so I am relying on a CD from my fam to get these uploaded (HINT HINT!)
After seeing those beautiful chubby cheeks on my niece, I checked voicemail and my boss from the clinic had called. I returned his phone call only to find out I had been laid off. YUCK!
I LOVE my job....I know you can't always tell from my posts, but I do. I love the people (even the crazy ones), I love the insane pace, etc. What is really a GOD thing is that while crying my eyes out I realized that I would have to pull the kids out of summer camp since my part time gig footed the bill, and suddenly the part time gig is GONE! Instead of being frantic, I had a great peace and realized that this was God's way of saying, "spend some good quality time with the kiddos before they all go to school" I felt ok...and then I read the comments on my last post and it seems that all of you were praying for the same thing for me. Peace and more quality time with my kiddos before the new Freeman arrives.
So, yes, it poured some more after Monday, but hey, rain brings growth and I am ready to grow in GOD so bring on the rain.
Believe it or not, the kids are really excited about no more camp. Don't get me wrong, THEY LOVE IT and beg to go every morning but I think they are excited to explore some new adventures with mom and I am too!
P.S. My social worker is back in town...have I mentioned I LOVE her. I told her about the situation we were presented with and that we had turned it down. I think she was really impressed that we kept our cool in that tough decision we had to make...
Monday, July 2, 2007
Ok, so I can admit it....
I am STRUGGLING here....really, I mean it...this isn't Brea being cute...I am STRUGGLING!
This adoption thing is kicking my butt and I think it is because I am such a hand's on kind of gal. When I am in the midst of doing something, I read books about it, I google it, I live it.
Our social worker is on vacation, we are still not officially approved (which is driving me nuts b/c other people in the adoption forums act as though we should already have our approval letter based on their experiences with Bethany), and they have already cashed our $2,000 check.
On top of that, because I am a reader, I keep getting emails about "available situations" that are not through our agency. Today I got one about a little girl that is a year old and the mother is due with her sibling in September.....
my heart is heavy, my mind is overwhelmed, and I am trusting God although it is really hard right now. How can I feel so much love for a child I haven't met? AND I DO....the void in my heart that God has created for this child is so real and yet, I know that he is teaching me patience through this journey.
So if I haven't returned a phone call, haven't answered an email, or don't have that usual pep in my step...bear with me...this is the hard part of adoption. The waiting....waiting on everyone else and having no control. What doesn't kill me will make me stronger right?!?!?!
This adoption thing is kicking my butt and I think it is because I am such a hand's on kind of gal. When I am in the midst of doing something, I read books about it, I google it, I live it.
Our social worker is on vacation, we are still not officially approved (which is driving me nuts b/c other people in the adoption forums act as though we should already have our approval letter based on their experiences with Bethany), and they have already cashed our $2,000 check.
On top of that, because I am a reader, I keep getting emails about "available situations" that are not through our agency. Today I got one about a little girl that is a year old and the mother is due with her sibling in September.....
my heart is heavy, my mind is overwhelmed, and I am trusting God although it is really hard right now. How can I feel so much love for a child I haven't met? AND I DO....the void in my heart that God has created for this child is so real and yet, I know that he is teaching me patience through this journey.
So if I haven't returned a phone call, haven't answered an email, or don't have that usual pep in my step...bear with me...this is the hard part of adoption. The waiting....waiting on everyone else and having no control. What doesn't kill me will make me stronger right?!?!?!
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Stephanie McMinn
Years ago, when Jonathan and I met at First Baptist Greenbrier, we started a bible study that another couple at our church, Tom and Stephanie McMinn, were hosting in their home. To be honest with you, I can't remember what study we did, but I vividly remember how much Jonathan and I admired their marriage, their faith and their love of us. We became instant friends although they were just a bit older than us and they really took us under their wing and mentored us in the beginning stages of our marriage. Soon after we married in 1997, Stephanie was diagnosed with breast cancer and the journey of a lifetime began. Though they moved away from Greenbrier, we have always kept in contact with them over the years via email.
Recently, Stephanie set up a caringbridge site because she was having issues with her emails being reached by the hundreds (if not thousands) of people that have followed her story. Today, I knew it was time to share it with you. Please lift this family up in prayer daily if you can.
I wanted to share one excerpt from her site that had me in tears at my computer. It makes me realize once again how fragile this life is and also, how much our DADDY in heaven loves us. It also shows us what an amazing testimony Stephanie is.....
As you read this, keep in mind that her daughter Molly is only a year older than my Anna.
FROM STEPHANIE:
TUESDAY, MAY 15, 2007 08:51 PM, CDT
Molly and I had a really special 'teachable moment' this week. I have struggled for years in knowing how to prepare a child for one's own death. God is so good! He is faithful. I have a HUGE notebook with copies of all my emails from the beginning of my journey. It begins with a letter to Molly explaining that when she feels she is old enough and ready to take the journey, it's there for her to do so. (I completed a Mother's Keepsake book for her telling her about my childhood and I have numerous scrapbooks with pictures galore with journalling around the pictures.) In time, she probably WILL forgot exactly what I look like, and what my voice sounds like. That's only human. And she's so young. That will be okay. I've just wanted to leave her things so that she can go back through and have an identity with me and hopefully answer some questions. My greatest fear is not that she won't remember me. What worries me the most and just burdens me so, is that my death will effect her relationship with Jesus. I don't want her to question or be so confused why her momma was taken from her at such an early age. I don't want her to wander through life and be looking for answers that she just can't accept. Sure there are questions and there aren't answers. They have to be accepted by faith. It's okay that's she's sad, mad, angry as a hornet, confused, etc. But, I just pray she can work through it and trust Jesus' love for her and that He loves me too....so much that he died for us. I look for moments. I have to. This is our life. Over the last few years Molly and I stop on occasion at a church cemetery we pass on our route to school. We like to look and figure out how old the people were when the died (good math lesson, too) and see some that died in the 1800's where not very old adults and some, sadly, were even children. Some families are hard to figure out. We try and figure out where one wife may have died, and was buried and then the husband must have remarried and the second wife was buried by him as well. I try to make it a non-threatening place. We talk about how everyone must eventually die. Molly asked me once if everyone of those people that died were in heaven. It gave me a great opportunity to tell her TRUTH. No, they have a choice just like you and I do to accept Jesus or not. We talk about how the bodies were buried there but that the people are not there. The Bible says there IS a heaven and a hell. One night Molly and I were home by ourselves and she asked to see my scar. She commented how glad she was that I didn't die then. My heart jumped a beat as I realized it was a teachable moment that I had to grab if I wanted to or not. I reminded her that I still have cancer and that I would probably still die without God taking the cancer away from my body. I told her that I was fighting with everything I could possibly do to stay alive and that I would never choose to leave her. I told her God could take the cancer completely from my body, but that if He didn't, it was due to a bigger plan that we may never understand. We discussed how much Jesus loves us.I explained to her that the Bible does not say that I will be able to see her after I die and that it does not say I will be her personally guardian angel protecting her, giving her strength, etc. I explained that only Jesus can give her that guidance and strength. I will be in heaven and excited after she has lived a long life and arrives so that we can spend eternity together. She told me that she would cry and cry when I die. I told I understood and that I would be the same way. I told her it will be very sad and that she may want to cry a lot and that she can for a long time afterwards if it makes her feel better. We talked about her sharing her feelings with Daddy and others. She mentioned she was concerned with Daddy getting remarried. (I think she thinks he will the next week.) I told her it will probably take a while and that I want him to and that it will be good for her to love another woman as a mother. She will need someone in her life to guide her into being a woman. She has such a wonderful Daddy. They are such buddies. They laugh and laugh together and have so much fun. They are a true joy to observe. I explained to her that her Heavenly Daddy desires that same kind of relationship from her. One that she can enjoy spending time with in prayer and Bible study. God loves her and he has set out boundaries for her in Scripture just like her Daddy has set rules and regulations for her. They both love her very much. One would do all that he could to reach her wherever she is if she needed him to comfort her. The other one will ALWAYS be there. In Christ Alone, Stephanie
Recently, Stephanie set up a caringbridge site because she was having issues with her emails being reached by the hundreds (if not thousands) of people that have followed her story. Today, I knew it was time to share it with you. Please lift this family up in prayer daily if you can.
I wanted to share one excerpt from her site that had me in tears at my computer. It makes me realize once again how fragile this life is and also, how much our DADDY in heaven loves us. It also shows us what an amazing testimony Stephanie is.....
As you read this, keep in mind that her daughter Molly is only a year older than my Anna.
FROM STEPHANIE:
TUESDAY, MAY 15, 2007 08:51 PM, CDT
Molly and I had a really special 'teachable moment' this week. I have struggled for years in knowing how to prepare a child for one's own death. God is so good! He is faithful. I have a HUGE notebook with copies of all my emails from the beginning of my journey. It begins with a letter to Molly explaining that when she feels she is old enough and ready to take the journey, it's there for her to do so. (I completed a Mother's Keepsake book for her telling her about my childhood and I have numerous scrapbooks with pictures galore with journalling around the pictures.) In time, she probably WILL forgot exactly what I look like, and what my voice sounds like. That's only human. And she's so young. That will be okay. I've just wanted to leave her things so that she can go back through and have an identity with me and hopefully answer some questions. My greatest fear is not that she won't remember me. What worries me the most and just burdens me so, is that my death will effect her relationship with Jesus. I don't want her to question or be so confused why her momma was taken from her at such an early age. I don't want her to wander through life and be looking for answers that she just can't accept. Sure there are questions and there aren't answers. They have to be accepted by faith. It's okay that's she's sad, mad, angry as a hornet, confused, etc. But, I just pray she can work through it and trust Jesus' love for her and that He loves me too....so much that he died for us. I look for moments. I have to. This is our life. Over the last few years Molly and I stop on occasion at a church cemetery we pass on our route to school. We like to look and figure out how old the people were when the died (good math lesson, too) and see some that died in the 1800's where not very old adults and some, sadly, were even children. Some families are hard to figure out. We try and figure out where one wife may have died, and was buried and then the husband must have remarried and the second wife was buried by him as well. I try to make it a non-threatening place. We talk about how everyone must eventually die. Molly asked me once if everyone of those people that died were in heaven. It gave me a great opportunity to tell her TRUTH. No, they have a choice just like you and I do to accept Jesus or not. We talk about how the bodies were buried there but that the people are not there. The Bible says there IS a heaven and a hell. One night Molly and I were home by ourselves and she asked to see my scar. She commented how glad she was that I didn't die then. My heart jumped a beat as I realized it was a teachable moment that I had to grab if I wanted to or not. I reminded her that I still have cancer and that I would probably still die without God taking the cancer away from my body. I told her that I was fighting with everything I could possibly do to stay alive and that I would never choose to leave her. I told her God could take the cancer completely from my body, but that if He didn't, it was due to a bigger plan that we may never understand. We discussed how much Jesus loves us.I explained to her that the Bible does not say that I will be able to see her after I die and that it does not say I will be her personally guardian angel protecting her, giving her strength, etc. I explained that only Jesus can give her that guidance and strength. I will be in heaven and excited after she has lived a long life and arrives so that we can spend eternity together. She told me that she would cry and cry when I die. I told I understood and that I would be the same way. I told her it will be very sad and that she may want to cry a lot and that she can for a long time afterwards if it makes her feel better. We talked about her sharing her feelings with Daddy and others. She mentioned she was concerned with Daddy getting remarried. (I think she thinks he will the next week.) I told her it will probably take a while and that I want him to and that it will be good for her to love another woman as a mother. She will need someone in her life to guide her into being a woman. She has such a wonderful Daddy. They are such buddies. They laugh and laugh together and have so much fun. They are a true joy to observe. I explained to her that her Heavenly Daddy desires that same kind of relationship from her. One that she can enjoy spending time with in prayer and Bible study. God loves her and he has set out boundaries for her in Scripture just like her Daddy has set rules and regulations for her. They both love her very much. One would do all that he could to reach her wherever she is if she needed him to comfort her. The other one will ALWAYS be there. In Christ Alone, Stephanie
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