What's Next

I've talked about this before, but I've been thinking about it more and more the last few days. Does it surprise anyone else how quickly you are asked about having more kids right after you just had/adopted one? It seemed like within days of J.T.'s homecoming, people were asking J and I "were we done?" or "when are you starting the process again?"

I will be honest, newborn stage has yet again kicked my butt. Literally. I am so tired sometimes that I no longer form coherent sentences, I go days without showering, and I now view a nap as one of the most important things to do in a day.

I will be honest and also admit that after J.T. came home, I felt like this was it. Party of 7 sounds good. No more kiddos for us. We have done what God has called us to do.

BUT if I am really being honest, I can tell you that I just don't know the answers to those questions because I am not in control. Only God knows those answers. I can tell you that once you have crossed over and your eyes have been opened, there is no denying a need for families for orphaned children. Can we afford another adoption? Right now, the answer is no. Do I believe that God would provide if he called us to do it again? Absolutely yes.

So that's my answer for what is next for our family. "Wherever he leads, I'll go" is my answer. Now, mom, don't go start breathing into a paper sack or anything...I'm not saying we are starting another adoption! I'm just challenging all of you. This world is not black and white. There is gray. I want to be different. I want God to use me even if the world thinks I'm weird. I'm ok with weird, I'm ok with gray.