I am STRUGGLING here....really, I mean it...this isn't Brea being cute...I am STRUGGLING!
This adoption thing is kicking my butt and I think it is because I am such a hand's on kind of gal. When I am in the midst of doing something, I read books about it, I google it, I live it.
Our social worker is on vacation, we are still not officially approved (which is driving me nuts b/c other people in the adoption forums act as though we should already have our approval letter based on their experiences with Bethany), and they have already cashed our $2,000 check.
On top of that, because I am a reader, I keep getting emails about "available situations" that are not through our agency. Today I got one about a little girl that is a year old and the mother is due with her sibling in September.....
my heart is heavy, my mind is overwhelmed, and I am trusting God although it is really hard right now. How can I feel so much love for a child I haven't met? AND I DO....the void in my heart that God has created for this child is so real and yet, I know that he is teaching me patience through this journey.
So if I haven't returned a phone call, haven't answered an email, or don't have that usual pep in my step...bear with me...this is the hard part of adoption. The waiting....waiting on everyone else and having no control. What doesn't kill me will make me stronger right?!?!?!