Monday, April 6, 2009

Adoption Update - Monday

This could quite possibly be one of the hardest blog posts I have ever written. I've thought about what to say, how to say it, and that God would use my words constantly over the last 15 hours.

We were actually told on Saturday, March 28 that the expectant mom in Georgia had picked us. I didn't want to post it here on the blog simply because if it fell through, I didn't want a constant reminder of the pain every time we were asked. We told very close friends and family and just spent the next week praying for this mother and her child.

Yesterday, our worst fears came to reality. You see, Jonathan and I's number one priority in this second adoption was to follow God's will AND to make sure that this adoption was as ethical as possible. We found out last night that the agency was basically pushing this mother to place her baby for adoption. They ARE NOT giving her adequate counseling and are basically only giving her the options available to her IF SHE PLACES, not if she decides to parent. Knowing how unethical this is, we can't possible move forward with this expectant mother OR with this agency.

We are very sad. We are sad that this poor woman may not know all of her options by the time she gives birth. We are sad that we are basically back at the beginning again. We are sad that we got sucked in, but also realize that this could happen very easily anywhere.

That is why we asked for prayers last night. We truly never thought we would be here, typing this message. I figured the woman would decide to parent, not that we would be pushing the agency to give her ethical counseling.

I honestly don't have any more words. I have cried what I feel like is my last tear. I have gone from being mad, to proud of us for doing the right thing, to mad, to being worried about this mom, to mad, to feeling the biggest sense of peace I have ever felt. I know HE is in control and for now, that is enough.

P.S. I wanted to add that I will be doing a blog post about the agency simply because I think people in the adoption world need to know what type of agency that are working with if they choose to go with this agency. I am going to take a few days to process what all has happened and spend some time in prayer about how to best word the post so that I don't sound like a bitter adoptive parent, but an objective person that just wants to warn people what this agency is all about.

9 comments:

Beckie said...

Brea, your family and the Birth Mother's family are in my prayers...I pray that the right thing will happen for all that are involved!

Kyle and Crystal said...

My heart is breaking for all three of you!! :( I hope this woman can find another place/agency who is truly looking for her interests and not their own. I will pray, pray, pray for you all! So proud of you for doing what is right despite the pain that goes with it.

kbell said...

I have no words right now, they would be empty anyhow...

We're praying.

Andi-bo-bandi said...

Oh Brea. I am hoping this is not a certain agency in GA that I have heard things about in the past. Because I know that some from the BB have taken placement through them and probably did not even know. (They didn't work directly with them, but their home agencies did.) Yikes.

So sorry this happened. But so proud to hear that you did the right thing. I don't know that I would've had the strength.

jeanine said...

Don't even know what to say. Know you were excited about this, yet you definately had some divine "intervention" in the way that you led your children thruout this process. You did/have done/will do the best for everyone involved. I know God will lead you in that, as HE already has. Hang in there, Breagirl. love you.

kristina proffitt said...

I'm so sorry, Brea. :(
I am praying for you and your family right now and that birth mother, too. I don't blame you one bit for wanting to talk about the way this agency handled things. It sounds like people need to know. I'm proud of you and your husband for making this very difficult decision. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Big hugs, sweet friend.

MommaA said...

Thank you for doing the right thing, even though it hurt you and your family. I know, know, KNOW that the Lord will bless you immeasurable for the way you handled the situation. Prayers for your whole family and also this birthmom. Praying for more people like you who will help make adoption in America better.

Brina said...

You are in our prayers as I know this is a difficult time for you. I will also be praying for this mother and pray that she will find the counseling that she may need in order to move forward with parenting if she chooses to do so. Many prayers!
Sabrina

Holly said...

Yuck... so sorry! You are doing the right thing though. Sometimes an agency isn't bad across the board though; sometimes they have a bad office; a bad social worker, etc... that end up giving the agency a bad name... just like some "Christians" give Christians a bad name! Praying for you as you muddle through everything in your mind and sort everything out in your heart. Will say a prayer for the expectant mom too.