Thursday, April 16, 2009

To the person who looked at our house today

I'm really sorry, I am.

You see, when they called at 11:40am to tell me you wanted to come at 12:30pm, I really wasn't thinking straight when I said "sure" I wasn't thinking straight because we were driving to the surgery center so my husband could have his fourth knee surgery (he's fine by the way, just drugged out of his mind). So I wasn't thinking about exactly what my house looked like when I left it at 11am.

When I returned home, however, I quickly realized why I should have said no. You see, I pride myself on keeping a clean house. Cluttered....yes, we have four children, but my clutter is clean. I guess I lost control yesterday when I decided to purge my youngest daughter's room. Her room today was perfect, however the rest of the house appeared to have had a clothing bomb go off in it.

All the jewelry on the dining room table? Yes, that is for my friend's jewelry party on Monday night. I'm sure you thought I was trying to decide what to hock to pay our mortgage since it appeared by the size of the lawn out front that surely we are headed into foreclosure. I promise, our loan is current and we aren't selling the house for those reasons, but you would never know that. The grass is tall enough to loose a small child, but you probably didn't realize that our wonderful yard guy hasn't been able to come with all the rain. I promise we do mow our yard, matter of fact, he came this afternoon after you had left.

I'm sorry my boys dirty underwear was on their bedroom floor. I usually go behind them picking up dirty clothes when they forget to do it, but I guess I couldn't fit another piece into the laundry room that was overflowing with dirty clothes.

Oh the pantry? Yes, my pantry is normally quite lovely. But not today. I didn't realize my lovely children had decided to put the crackers back in there upside down with the box open leaving about 40 crackers throughout the shelves. I promise we don't normally let them do that, nor do we have bugs.

The bins in random places throughout the house including the dining room, master bedroom and living room? You see, I run a children's consignment sale and I was trying to get all my fall/winter clothing in bins so that I could be ahead of the game. I wouldn't have done that had I known you were coming today.

So, please, feel free to come back any other day, but don't hold today against me. The house was really BAD. If you recognized our picture anywhere in the house, please don't tell anyone what a bad housekeeper I am. It's not normally like this and I promise it will look better when/if you decide to come back. I know if I were in your shoes, I would have run from here screaming.

UPDATE: Saturday at 2:35pm. Evidently it wasn't THAT bad...they are coming back to look again tonight at 5pm :)

UPDATE: Saturday, 4/25 at 4ish: Evidently it really wasn't bad all...we just got an offer from them. We'll see :)

9 comments:

Tracy said...

haha. You crack me up. See you tomorrow.

Beckie said...

You are so funny Brea!

jeanine said...

lol - I'm sure it wasn't half of what you made it sound - tho nonetheless hysterical! hee hee .. .hang in there buddy - sorry we couldn't talk longer tonight ... xoxo

Anonymous said...

As all of you know, Brea's house is NEVER as bad as she thinks. She is so clean!

kristina proffitt said...

Hee hee! You're totally cracking me up, girl! :)

Destry said...

I'm sure it was fine!

We looked at a house and the owners had been given a one week notice...This is what I found upon entering:

-someone had baked cookies that morning and left dirty bowls, spatulas, pans and cooling racks ALL OVER THE KITCHEN

-the sink was FULL of disgusting dishes

-full ashtrays on the floor in 3 different rooms

-adult dirty underwear and bras heaped all over the bedroom

-clean adult underthings dangling all over the bathroom

-half eaten pizzas and old pizza boxes in the teen agers bedroom floor

-beer bottles all over the teens room

-a bong on the teens dresser

How do I know it was a teen? Their textbooks were strewn about the room.

Did I mention that these folks had a 7 day notice???

This was a 4200sq ft house in Indian Hills. It was icky! I wish I had taken pictures.

By comparison, your house sounds spotless, lol.

The O'Neal's said...

Too funny. I would just be happy if someone would look at our house. It's been on the market for over a month and we haven't had a single call so it could always be worse.

gretchen said...

Hilarious!

hthr said...

This is hilarious! Isn't that always the way?!